ROBERT J.R. GRAHAM: Grinder

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Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Have A Hard Habit To Break?

Do You Have a Habit Hard To Break?

by: Terje Brooks Ellingsen

If You have a habit hard to break it means that you’re currently lacking control over a certain behavior or set of behaviors in a type of situation. The first question that comes to my mind is: How do we really create a habit – bad or good? A habit is not created the first time we do it. The clue here is repetition; we create a habit by repeating it. And the more we repeat it the more resistant it becomes.

The founders of NLP , Bandler and Grinder are using a concept called “streamlining”. They explain this concept as a natural process whereby our minds learn which aspects of a thought process is important and which is not. Let me give an example:

When I was about 5 years old somebody offered to shake my hand for the first time in my life. I was very pleased because this nice woman was treating me like an adult. I looked at her outstretched hand and then, remembering what others did in this situation, clumsily lifted mine and moved it towards hers. I remember not getting the positioning quite right, and she compensated and smiled. Now, the next time I got a little better at shaking hands and soon I didn’t even need to think about it. When somebody offers you their hand to say hello, you don’t think about it at all. It’s automatic behaviour. Even if you do think about it, you can’t help lifting your hand up. This is what we call a habit.

Good habits are hardly mentioned – they are not important and not on the agenda. It is the bad habits that cause trouble and it is these habits – the habits we want to get rid of – that means most for us. It is self improvement that matters, make our habits better.

You can break a habit by deliberately practicing a new or different one. Many of us blame our unconscious mind for our bad habits. But even the most enlightened and spiritual person has bad habits. So this seems to indicate that they are not only outside of their conscious control, but even outside of the control of the unconscious mind as well. The fact is that your unconscious mind can break an old habit and learn a new one without your needing to know about it. You can also break a habit by making it seem uncomfortable, like boredom for instance. Our minds are very keen on doing what feels comfortable and the same mechanism can be used for making a new and more functional habit.

But what about the good habits – there are some of them as well. When Michael Jordan was asked to miss the basket when throwing for a TV commercial, it took him around 20 attempts. Even good habits can be difficult to break, but why would one want to break them?

Source

5 Habits To Break For Entrepreneurs

How to Stop Biting Your Nails

It’s down to you.

Habits

6 Ways to Uncover and Change Your Worst Money Habits

Changing Bad Habits Into Good Habits

You Cannot Change Anything…

Turbo-Charge Your Changework: Create Powerful New Habits and Make Them Stick!

8 Ways to Teach Your Kids Good Money Habits

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Tuesday, 26 August 2014

An Introduction To NLP

Based on the subjective study of the phenomena of language, communication and change, Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP is a perspective in psychotherapy as well as a model for interpersonal communications. Richard Bandler and John Grinder (who is a linguist) co-founded NLP in the 1970s as a personal developemt process. Various psychological fields contribute to NLP among numerous other disciplines – occupational therapy, cognitive science and linguistics.

Thus, NLP has diverse and sound theoretical foundations. NLP is taught through workshops, seminars, books and audio-visual programs. It defies a single definition and is spread over a lot of schools of thought. Training and standards also vary accordingly. Badler and Grinder developed sets of techiniques and/or practices modelled on effective psychotherapy methods of the era. The application hardly remained limited to just psychotherapy, but spread to interpersonal communications that were applied generally and loosely.

In simpler terms, NLP looks at the structure of human thought and experience. Since this is a subjective phenomenon, it cannot possess a streamlined, clear cut, statistical structure but leads to various models of thought, expression and experience. These models then help to quickly changing thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that can limit an individual.

Various people who did things exceedingly well have been studied, and models have been structured based on these studies. Just some of these models include the meta model, Milton model, sensory acuity, sub modalities and representational systems. Presuppositions form an integral part of NLP. They are the beliefs that anyone practicing NLP can create changes within themselves as well as in the environment they are surrounded in. People who practice NLP often have different presuppositions but some common ones have been outlined in this article for your benefit –

a. communication matters more than mere speech

b. you already have everything you need in order to change

c. having a choice is a better situation than having none

d. each type of behavior has a context and situation in which it is positive and has some value

e. failure doesn’t exist; feedback does

f. if one person can do it, anybody else can (when taught properly)

g. people can and do work perfectly

h. if you aren’t getting the response you want, try another approach

i. all your communication amounts to is the response you get from it

j. by changing a person’s “map”, that person’s reality can be changed (perception is changed by representation)

In NLP, the five senses are central to the purposes of representational systems. For example,

a. visual (the eyes) – it looks good, positive visual image

b. auditory (the ears) – I have heard good things about it

c. olfactory (the nose) – it smells favorable, pleasant, effective

d. gustatory (the tongue) – it tastes like it will be successful

e. kinesthetic (the skin) – it makes me feel good

All these representations have certain attributes or qualities that you can perceive by using all your five senses – these are the sub modalities used in NLP. They fine tune your representation and can thus be used to create great changes.