Showing posts with label FEAR. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

To Fear The Darkness

Fear Of Death And Darkness Phobia

by: Steve Hill

Fear of the dark also known as Nyctophobia is common among young children who often fear that something catastrophic may happen to them in the night. In the darkness, we can’t see very well, and for a young child, particularly one with a healthy imagination, this can be very frightening. A pervading sense can build that something sinister is just out of sight and arm’s reach waiting for its moment to strike.

As a young child, I used to suffer from this phobia, as a result of which my mother used to leave the landing light on for me to provide a calming relief from the darkness. My parents also used to ask me questions to make me elaborate on my fears. By doing this, they showed concern and sympathy, while at the same time making it very clear that they were not afraid. In this way, parents can be of great use to their children.

The fear lessened as I grew older, then went away altogether. Most children as they grow up and the world around them becomes more logical and less fantastic, come to realise that they are quite safe in the darkness and their fears were irrational.

Some adults can suffer from this fear – particularly those who suffer from nightmares or have traumatic memories. Although gradual exposure to darkness can be helpful to nyctophobics, the management of nightmares and bad memories is liable to require specialist help.

Fear of death or Thantophobia is quite a natural phenomenon. None of us know what will happen to us after we die. But to be morbidly afraid of death is unhealthy and detrimental to our lives.

If one fears death excessively, it can prevent them from being able to enjoy life. Often associated with hypochondria, morbid death fear can cause unnecessary worry and anxiety and can prevent the sufferer from being able to live life to the full.

To a point the fear of death diminishes when we see it in its natural context – a dying person surrounded by loving friends and family. However most of our images of death in the modern world have been distorted by our culture’s preoccupation with unnatural violent death: daily news stories of shootings, abductions and suicide bombings. Brutally violent movies and computer games. Also scare mongering news stories regarding types of food once perceived to be healthy, but now putting you at death’s door.

All this negative focus leads to unhealthy consequences. An exaggerated fear of dying and phobias of growing old leads to a reluctance to make a will or make any plans for those we love whom we know will outlive us and a general ignorance of normal end of life options.

Source

Human Fear

Far beyond fear

The common phobias of creatives

How The Fast Phobia Cure Works

Do you have fears

I’m Almost Afraid To Look At Today’s Post!

I’m Afraid of the Dark, There I’ve Admitted It

Irrational Fears

Your Heartbeat (A Poem)

The Transportation Thread

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Face Your Fears

Fears And Phobias A Brief Overview

The Anatomy of Fear

Overcoming Fear to Reach Your Potential

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There Are No Obstacles!

The post To Fear The Darkness appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Monday, 22 September 2014

An Addiction To Judgement

Addiction to Self-Judgment

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

“I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?”

“I’m a looser. I’ll never get anywhere.”

“I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.”

“I don’t fit in. I don’t belong with these people.”

“I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.”

“I’m permanently emotionally damaged. I’ll never be okay.”

“No one could love me. I’m not lovable.”

…and so on and so on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most of the time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “Margaret doesn’t like me,” or “Margaret is getting impatient with me.” When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn’t not necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?

Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows the lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.

The way out of this is to become aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask yourself, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?” Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?” If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is the truth?” If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, “I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” becomes “We all mess up at times. It’s okay to make mistakes – it’s part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean that you are a jerk.” When we open to the truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe rather than anxious, angry or depressed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!

Source

Judgement and judgment

Still Working On My Anxiety Management Plan

Preparing Your Mental State for Self-Tracking (Get Your Mood On: Part 3)

Mushrooms’ “Magic” May Lie in Battling Addiction, Cancer Anxiety

A Lot About Nothing

Is it Possible to Walk Downstream Now & for the Rest of My Life?

Meat + Bag = You

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The post An Addiction To Judgement appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Sunday, 21 September 2014

Are Negative Thoughts Impeding Your Dreams?

What Negative Thoughts Are Preventing You From Following Your Dream?

By Trish Mullen

It has been proven numerous times that the way we look at our life and where it is going is essentially what we get out of life. All of this is linked to what we have been taught we are worthy of having and capable of achieving. Influencing factors on how we view ourselves and others is mostly inspired by external influences such as family, our upbringing and the community we grew up in. Automatic negative thoughts are the immediate response of many people when confronted by the real possibility of having to change. They are the very essence that stops people living their dream.

Don’t you think it a bit strange that many people take the time and make the effort of writing a will at some stage in their lives, and by doing so tell people what they want to happen after they die? How many of them however put that same effort into writing down or telling people what they want to happen whilst they are still here? Having read my article this far, please take a few seconds right now to notice how you look at the world. What about ambitions you had years ago, how have they manifested themselves? Are you living the dream? Do you have everything you ever wanted out of your life?

I was one of those people who became so wrapped up in the corporate way of life, my priorities were all wrong; I was constantly chasing my tail until one day I just thought “enough is enough.” My whole world changed from that moment on.

Let me ask you a question – how do you view the business of making money online? Now be honest here, is it something you ever thought about? Is it something you think may be way out of your comfort zone and therefore unachievable? Do you believe that it is difficult but it can be done? Or secretly deep down inside do you think it won’t really work for you?

If you chose the latter, firstly can I congratulate you on being honest with yourself and secondly tell you straight up that making money online IS something that the average person CAN do. The first step, however is adopting the correct mindset, challenging then banishing those negative thoughts that prevent you from moving outside of your comfort zone.

Are you plagued by negative thoughts? If so, it is essential that you get rid of those thoughts as soon as they start. Do not allow yourself to go through life being a victim to your past, do not allow yourself to be constantly bombarded with those negative voices telling you this is impossible, you will never be able to do this. You can do anything – but you need to believe in yourself first and foremost. If you don’t have that belief, how can anyone else believe in you?

Whatever you think about constantly you will bring about. If that inner voice is constantly telling you that you cannot achieve, you cannot do something then it will not happen. If your perception all the time is that everything is just too difficult to do, then you will never achieve anything and that dream you said you would follow – well it will always remain just that – a dream!

If on the other hand you have a clear vision, you surround yourself with successful people who are achieving, and then you will have success also.

Take a few minutes now to imagine yourself working from home, working only a few hours a day and making those few hours fit in around YOU, your family and what you want to do in a day. Even though you’re doing only a few hours work, you are making more money than you ever did in your corporate job. Now take that picture, pause it, enlarge it and imprint it everywhere around your home. This is YOU, this is your future, this is not just possible but probable, your future is waiting around the corner. It is just a few steps away – what are you waiting for; I believe in you and know you are worth it.

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

W Clement Stone