Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Become An Optimist

Want A Happier, Healthier, More Successful New Year? Become An Optimist


By


optimist 300x205 Become An Optimist The holidays are over, your decorations are slowly making their way back into storage boxes, the euphoria of gift-giving and receiving has given way to the mundane “Here we go, another year” where you still have to make a living or figure out how to make it through the next month, where family is still – well, family – and none of your obligations seem to have magically vanished along with the holiday music.



Yes, you’ve made your New Year’s resolutions, and off you go to that gym or diet or other goal, teeth gritted together, swearing to yourself that this year you WILL see that resolution through, no matter what it takes. And you’re pretty sure it will take lots of effort, not to mention struggle, as you tear yourself bleary-eyed from your warm comfy bed, stare out at the rain/snow/ice/cold and wonder what on earth possessed you to resolve to an early morning run every day?


Here’s a radical suggestion. Before you undertake any of your New Year’s resolutions, decide to become an optimist. Make that your first and most important new choice for 2013.


Why? Because an impressive body of scientific research proves that optimists live longer, happier, healthier, more successful lives. They experience significantly less stress, less depression, and heal faster than pessimists. Not only that, but my favorite – optimists outperform their own abilities! So you may be good at something, but if you’re an optimist, you’ll be terrific at it. No matter what you undertake, you’ll experience more success and joy by the simple decision to become an optimist.


How do you do that? Well, the old adage “See the glass half full” is accurate, but only addresses the essence of optimism, not the practicalities.


Here are three quick, easy tips to becoming an optimist:


1. Play the “what if” game positively.


We all play the “what if” game, but for the most part, we play it negatively. For example, take a common concern: “What if I get fired?” which usually leads to “What if I can’t get a new job? What if I go through our savings in a month? What if I don’t have enough to cover the rent/mortgage?” Panic sets in real quick, and with that your stress increases as your ability to think clearly and make good decisions goes directly downhill.


Instead, play the “what if” game in a hopeful direction: “Well, if I get fired, I have a pretty good skill set, I’ve learned a lot at this job, I’ve made new connections. I’m sure I can parlay some of that into a new situation. Meanwhile, I’ll put some extra effort into my current position so I’m not as easily dispensed with.”


2. Give the benefit of the doubt.


Giving the benefit of the doubt, in our above example, is where you look at the fact that you’ve still got a job, that the company isn’t likely to shut down completely so workers will still be needed, that you’ve had good reviews so far.


All this reassures you that the sky isn’t falling as of now, which helps you relax, again assuring that you are functioning at your least-stressed best. You can now be proactive and perform at your highest level, which will certainly make you harder to fire.


3. Reminisce constructively


Most of us, when faced with a situation we don’t like, reminisce destructively. We think of all the bad things that have happened to us, and how awful it felt, and how hard it was to get back on track.


Instead, reminisce constructively. Deliberately think about all the good things that have happened to you, how good those seeming “out of thin air” helpful coincidences felt, and how surprisingly easy it was to get back on track. Think of the people who helped you along the way, even if it was just a stranger who gave you a smile in passing when you most needed a little kindness.


About the author



Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, relationship expert, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of nine best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. Visit http://ift.tt/1hhjwmU, http://ift.tt/1bQxuVn.






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Sunday, 30 March 2014

Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

by: Maya Talisman Frost


502255276 c29cf5aa70 300x198 Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker We all know there are ways to become a better thinker. We should read more books. We ought to go to lectures and concerts. We need to visit exhibits and appreciate art. We can take classes and expand our horizons through travel.


Blah, blah, blah. Those are the easy answers.


If we really want to become better thinkers, there are three ways to do it that are guaranteed to get you tuned in to your brain and everything going on in it.


Ready? Here are the top three secrets to becoming a better thinker:


#1 Interrupt yourself.


That’s right. The next time you find yourself talking for any period of time, or even thinking about something for more than a few minutes, simply stop. Ask yourself: “Where did this thought start?” “Have I had this thought before?” “Have I already examined this concept at length?”


We tend to reiterate our opinions. We repeat ourselves (like I did right there). Imagine all the time we spend on thoughts that just aren’t taking us anywhere new and interesting. How many times have you had the same conversation?


Make a habit of stopping yourself to check in. Steer your thoughts or your conversation in new directions. Make room for new ideas by recognizing and interrupting repetitive thoughts, and you’ll make huge strides toward becoming a more excellent thinker.


#2 Appreciate lulls.


300px ThinkingMan Rodin Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



You know when you’re talking to someone, and there’s a moment of silence before anyone says anything? Our tendency is to jump in, even if what we have to say is pointless. We talk for the sake of filling up that few seconds of silence to keep that pause from becoming uncomfortable.


Next time you find yourself with an unexpected moment of silence, try this: Smile and nod. You’ll look thoughtful, and you won’t fill the air with silly-sounding expressions of agreement. Once you get good at the smile-and-nod routine, you’ll find that you’ll use that moment as a way to be open to new thoughts that wouldn’t normally have room to sprout through your typical “uh-huh, that is so true” or “yeah, I totally agree with that” comments.


Appreciate those moments during the day when you have no choice but to be silent and patient. Waiting for your email to download? Standing in line at the checkout? Riding in an elevator? Fill the lull with observations. Look around. Notice scents. Pay attention to lighting. Listen. Think of these pauses as opportunities to sharpen your senses. Enjoy a Da Vinci moment.


#3 Define Your Life Philosophy.


Quite frankly, I don’t understand how this one gets so neglected in our culture. We do a whole lot of talking about being authentic, honoring our individuality, and finding our true passion. Well, how can anyone be true to themselves if they haven’t taken the time to figure out who they are? If you don’t know your values and beliefs, you’re never going to get to where you think you ought to be.


A defined life philosophy serves as a road map. It gives you landmarks to recognize, navigation tools to guide you, and a clear destination. Just like the greatest road trips, you may end up going in a completely new direction that’s nowhere on that original map. That’s okay. But knowing your starting point is the most crucial part of any journey.


Fate, birth, death, love, freedom, responsibility, morality, faith, destiny–these are the concepts we need to explore in order to develop and define our own unique life philosophy. Thinking about these ideas is the coolest thing we can do. We feel alive and connected whenever we dig deep into the Real Stuff.


Don’t shy away from delving deeply. It’s the only way to develop as a thinker and as a human.


Take these three secrets–interrupting yourself, appreciating lulls, and defining your life philosophy–and run with them.


Source






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Saturday, 29 March 2014

Enjoy Life and Lighten Up!

How to Be Happy, Have Fun and Enjoy Life


By


enjoying life iheartfaces wm 300x199 Enjoy Life and Lighten Up! Can you really be happy and have fun all the time? Well, since nothing in life is perfect and nothing is 100%, the answer would be no. However, you can be happy most of the time and enjoy your life each and every day. There’s really no big secret to it and I’ll share with you a few simple tips on how to accomplish it.


Being happy is conducive to being healthy emotionally and physically. It helps you deal with the stresses of life; you become optimistic, confident, and resilient. Others will see this in you, and when you share your joy and positive attitude with them, you may just lighten their burdens and help them become more positive as well.


The most important thing to be happy and have fun most of the time is to believe that life is wonderful, and you are here to enjoy it to the fullest. Whatever you believe is true for you, and your beliefs help create reality. Yes, you will experience some down moments in life but if you have that positive attitude, those moments will be few and far between, and when they do come you will know just what to do to become happy again as quickly as possible.


Following are a few tips to help you enjoy your life the way it’s meant to be.




  • 2713418694 bc0825d4b7 m Enjoy Life and Lighten Up!

    Slow down n enjoy life (Photo credit: Vishhh.)



    When you wake up every morning tell yourself that you will enjoy the day no matter what. Expect good things to happen throughout the day.



  • Have an attitude of gratitude. Just look for things to be grateful and thankful for and you will find plenty. The bus driver that brings you safely to work, the delicious lunch you have with your friends, the mailman that delivers your mail, the beautiful flowers in your garden, and even the stranger that smiles at you in the grocery store.

  • Avoid the news. Yes, you read that right. The news is notorious for bringing up negative things that can add stress to your life: wars, disasters, crimes, diseases, bad economy, you name it. You don’t need to feed yourself with those. Only watch, listen to, and read stuff that makes you happy, laugh, calm, or energetic. If something is important enough for you to know, it will be brought to your attention one way or another.

  • Enjoy Life Wallpaper fhqf5 300x225 Enjoy Life and Lighten Up! Be kind and helpful to others in every way possible. Open the door for someone behind you; pick up an empty can or bottle from the ground and put it in the trash can; be that stranger that smiles at others to brighten their day. When you do these simple things you will automatically feel good and be happy.

  • Release your inhibitions. As long as you’re not breaking the law, don’t be afraid to be yourself, act silly, or do things that give you a rush. Laugh out loud or giggle like a little girl; walk in the rain with no umbrella or raincoat and get yourself soaking wet; take a walk around the neighborhood in your bare feet; jump into a puddle of water; take a midnight swim. You need to use common sense but don’t worry about what others think of you.

  • a enjoy life 19 300x225 Enjoy Life and Lighten Up! Be a spiritual person. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be religious. Just take the time to find inner peace by praying, meditating, chanting or whatever else works for you. This will increase your level of happiness.

  • At the end of the day right before you go to sleep, reflect on everything you did and received throughout the day that brought you joy, and give thanks (to God or the universe) for having experienced it.

  • One last thing, and this may sound contradictory but it’s not. Don’t be afraid to cry when you need to. Yes, this goes for men too. Crying is not a sign of weakness but a way to release all the negative energy from within you so you can quickly bring happiness back in.


As you can see, it’s simple and easy to be happy and have fun most of the time. Just decide today that you are going to enjoy your life and you will see the magic unfold.






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