Showing posts with label The Girl Of My Best Friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Girl Of My Best Friend. Show all posts

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Confessions of an Alpha Male

Confessions of an Alpha Male

by: Jim DeSantis


Why is it that the most unlikely of men always seem to get the best looking women? You know who I mean. He is average looking, thinning hair, has a bit of a pot belly or spare tire, and certainly would not be mistaken for a men’s clothing model on the cover of GQ yet he always gets the hottest dates. Let’s discover how you can become that guy.


That guy is what is known as an “alpha male.” He is a babe magnet. No idea what an alpha male is? Simply put, alpha males project personal magnetism. It comes from having very high self esteem and that magnetism is irresistible to women. So, how can you become an “alpha male?”


First and foremost, by being honest with yourself.


When you see an alpha male dating only the most beautiful girl in the room, you feel inadequate in comparison. You compare yourself to him and come up short every time. What is really aggravating is you have no clue about how he does it. You wonder – “What does he have that I haven’t got?”


Step back from your internal mirror for a moment and consider a few things you are overlooking. You will be encouraged, I promise.


Watching an alpha male operate should really be encouraging, not discouraging. Because, the fact that this average looking guy can score so easily should mean that you have the ability to do the same. All you need to know is what he knows and just repeat his moves!


Let me give you what I call my “5 Quick Thought Shifters.” These will give you more confidence, coupled with correct body language, to start changing your dating life for the better overnight.


Shifter 1 – Be the alpha leader, not a beta follower.


Early man learned mating tactics from observing the animal kingdom. He observed that the strongest male was always the leader of the pack and the beta males served his needs. Alpha is in charge, beta follows from the shadows. With that said, the first step toward becoming an alpha is to stop being powerless and start taking charge.


If you have any of the following beta male traits, eliminate them:


• At social gatherings, your hands are in your pockets when meeting people.


• You look and act nervously most of the time.


• You have poor posture.


• You arms are crossed when observing or when talking with people.


• You act like you don’t belong.


• You are never in command of your space.


These behaviors, and others, send off negative “vibes” that automatically place you in low status compared to alphas and prove that you lack even minimal self confidence. You need to recognize your real flaws, admit them, and work on correcting them because, the first step toward being in command, being an alpha male, is to start acting the part.


Becoming an alpha male takes knowledge and practice! Just as there are no born salesmen, no one is born an alpha male.


Shifter 2 – Find the confident you.


Women will admit that they admire a man who controls his own world. This does not mean “arrogance.” Alpha males project an unspoken confidence, never being overbearing about it. This is one of their most powerful assets.


You could be a guy who works at a minimum wage job and lives in a two room apartment, but, if you project confidence, women will be attracted to you. Remember, they know nothing at all about you. They only see that you value yourself and that’s all that counts.


The first step toward true self confidence is to recognize your weaknesses and strong points as compared to an alpha male personality. I dare say, if you are not scoring with women, your number one problem is you lack high self esteem.


You need to really think about why you see yourself the way that you do. Alpha males generally are just average looking but, at some point, they realized they have something of worth to give. They focus on their accomplishments and talents, and remind themselves of those while they forget about the negatives.


Shifter 3 – Control her mood.


Great actors know that emotional communication is more important than dialogue and makeup. They want to communicate just the right mood to the audience. Alpha males understand this too. They are always calm and relaxed in social situations. They are very aware of the emotional mood they are creating. This is the attitude you need to adopt and to start living every day.


When interacting with women, beta males are usually off balance and not in control of their emotions. They stress about what she’s thinking; her facial expressions; what she is saying. Stress is a guaranteed mood crusher.


Alpha males, on the other hand, are always creating the right mood and enjoying the game.


Now, don’t get this wrong. I am not talking about putting on some phony act. Being a true alpha male is only one part acting and nine parts being. Alpha males actually do not need any woman’s approval, and in his mind, the woman must gain his approval. This is not being egotistical. This is being practical. It is narrowing the field to women who meet a certain set of guidelines for a relationship and rejecting the others.


Beta males place far too much importance on what a woman thinks and end up going home with only the morning newspaper!


Shifter 4 – Body language tells a powerful story of its own.


When it comes to effective body language, here are the most common traits of an alpha male. These are all deliberate actions made with a focused but calm thought process.


Learn these traits:


• Learn to easily make momentary eye contact, not too long, not too short.


• Never scan the room to see who might be checking you out.


• Be totally in command of your space. Be relaxed and comfortable.


• Relax your breathing. Breathe by using your stomach, not your chest.


Try these behaviors the next time you’re in public, and see how people respond. The results should amaze you.


Shifter 5 – Live life on your terms.


Beta males are always eager to please, thinking they can ingratiate themselves with others. The result is, they get used and abused by the people they are trying to get to love them.


Alpha males listen to different inner music. They have no need to impress others or to win affection. They call the shots for every step of their lives and in every intimate relationship. They remain true to themselves and their male-ness.


Alpha males are guys who will lend a helping hand but, instead of saying “Yes” to every request, they will quickly say “No” without explanation. When pressed, an alpha male may simply say: “I just can’t do it.” They run on their own schedule and will not allow the demands of other people to interfere with the way they live. People quickly learn to respect and envy the alpha male’s focused lifestyle.


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Friday, 15 August 2014

Confessions of an Alpha Male

Confessions of an Alpha Male

by: Jim DeSantis


Why is it that the most unlikely of men always seem to get the best looking women? You know who I mean. He is average looking, thinning hair, has a bit of a pot belly or spare tire, and certainly would not be mistaken for a men’s clothing model on the cover of GQ yet he always gets the hottest dates. Let’s discover how you can become that guy.


That guy is what is known as an “alpha male.” He is a babe magnet. No idea what an alpha male is? Simply put, alpha males project personal magnetism. It comes from having very high self esteem and that magnetism is irresistible to women. So, how can you become an “alpha male?”


First and foremost, by being honest with yourself.


When you see an alpha male dating only the most beautiful girl in the room, you feel inadequate in comparison. You compare yourself to him and come up short every time. What is really aggravating is you have no clue about how he does it. You wonder – “What does he have that I haven’t got?”


Step back from your internal mirror for a moment and consider a few things you are overlooking. You will be encouraged, I promise.


Watching an alpha male operate should really be encouraging, not discouraging. Because, the fact that this average looking guy can score so easily should mean that you have the ability to do the same. All you need to know is what he knows and just repeat his moves!


Let me give you what I call my “5 Quick Thought Shifters.” These will give you more confidence, coupled with correct body language, to start changing your dating life for the better overnight.


Shifter 1 – Be the alpha leader, not a beta follower.


Early man learned mating tactics from observing the animal kingdom. He observed that the strongest male was always the leader of the pack and the beta males served his needs. Alpha is in charge, beta follows from the shadows. With that said, the first step toward becoming an alpha is to stop being powerless and start taking charge.


If you have any of the following beta male traits, eliminate them:


• At social gatherings, your hands are in your pockets when meeting people.


• You look and act nervously most of the time.


• You have poor posture.


• You arms are crossed when observing or when talking with people.


• You act like you don’t belong.


• You are never in command of your space.


These behaviors, and others, send off negative “vibes” that automatically place you in low status compared to alphas and prove that you lack even minimal self confidence. You need to recognize your real flaws, admit them, and work on correcting them because, the first step toward being in command, being an alpha male, is to start acting the part.


Becoming an alpha male takes knowledge and practice! Just as there are no born salesmen, no one is born an alpha male.


Shifter 2 – Find the confident you.


Women will admit that they admire a man who controls his own world. This does not mean “arrogance.” Alpha males project an unspoken confidence, never being overbearing about it. This is one of their most powerful assets.


You could be a guy who works at a minimum wage job and lives in a two room apartment, but, if you project confidence, women will be attracted to you. Remember, they know nothing at all about you. They only see that you value yourself and that’s all that counts.


The first step toward true self confidence is to recognize your weaknesses and strong points as compared to an alpha male personality. I dare say, if you are not scoring with women, your number one problem is you lack high self esteem.


You need to really think about why you see yourself the way that you do. Alpha males generally are just average looking but, at some point, they realized they have something of worth to give. They focus on their accomplishments and talents, and remind themselves of those while they forget about the negatives.


Shifter 3 – Control her mood.


Great actors know that emotional communication is more important than dialogue and makeup. They want to communicate just the right mood to the audience. Alpha males understand this too. They are always calm and relaxed in social situations. They are very aware of the emotional mood they are creating. This is the attitude you need to adopt and to start living every day.


When interacting with women, beta males are usually off balance and not in control of their emotions. They stress about what she’s thinking; her facial expressions; what she is saying. Stress is a guaranteed mood crusher.


Alpha males, on the other hand, are always creating the right mood and enjoying the game.


Now, don’t get this wrong. I am not talking about putting on some phony act. Being a true alpha male is only one part acting and nine parts being. Alpha males actually do not need any woman’s approval, and in his mind, the woman must gain his approval. This is not being egotistical. This is being practical. It is narrowing the field to women who meet a certain set of guidelines for a relationship and rejecting the others.


Beta males place far too much importance on what a woman thinks and end up going home with only the morning newspaper!


Shifter 4 – Body language tells a powerful story of its own.


When it comes to effective body language, here are the most common traits of an alpha male. These are all deliberate actions made with a focused but calm thought process.


Learn these traits:


• Learn to easily make momentary eye contact, not too long, not too short.


• Never scan the room to see who might be checking you out.


• Be totally in command of your space. Be relaxed and comfortable.


• Relax your breathing. Breathe by using your stomach, not your chest.


Try these behaviors the next time you’re in public, and see how people respond. The results should amaze you.


Shifter 5 – Live life on your terms.


Beta males are always eager to please, thinking they can ingratiate themselves with others. The result is, they get used and abused by the people they are trying to get to love them.


Alpha males listen to different inner music. They have no need to impress others or to win affection. They call the shots for every step of their lives and in every intimate relationship. They remain true to themselves and their male-ness.


Alpha males are guys who will lend a helping hand but, instead of saying “Yes” to every request, they will quickly say “No” without explanation. When pressed, an alpha male may simply say: “I just can’t do it.” They run on their own schedule and will not allow the demands of other people to interfere with the way they live. People quickly learn to respect and envy the alpha male’s focused lifestyle.


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Sunday, 10 August 2014

Five Modalities of Success

The Five Modalities of Optimum Success: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotions, & the Overarch

by: Neesha D. Meminger


The Five Modalities of Optimum Health: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotions, & the Overarch.


Optimum health, wealth, and success, require peak performance, or functioning, in each of the five major layers of the Self – what I have come to define in my Coaching practice as the Five Modalities. There are the basic three: Mind, Body, and Spirit, that many “progressive” thinkers in the current medical paradigm are beginning to acknowledge and embrace.


The fourth layer is the Modality of the Emotions which is as important as the above-mentioned three; and I coach through a fifth Modality that has yet to become part of the ongoing conversation about Optimum health and success: what I refer to as the Overarch, or Social Ecosystem .


Each of us is born into a Social, or Economic Ecosystem. The dictionary definition of an Ecosystem is: “a localized group of interdependent organisms together with the environment that they inhabit and depend on.” So, we all enter into this world ecosystem in a particular social or economic status. And, we enter into this world as interdependent creatures. Socially, and economically, we depend on one another for survival, just as much as we depend on the earth for our food and water and other essentials.


Although our social or economic status can change throughout our lives, based on a variety of factors; the structure of the Overarch, itself, remains intact, and will continue to remain thus. It has been this way for thousands and thousands of years in all parts of the world.


This structure is hierarchical in nature, resembling a pyramid. Those near the apex, have more control, access to resources, and decision-making capabilities than the ones near the base. Yet, those toward the apex are only able to exist at that spot with the support of all those that are holding them there from the base on up. So, we all fall into position somewhere in this hierarchical pyramid structure. And, as the physical structure of a pyramid would suggest, the vast majority of the world’s population is closer to the base of the pyramid than the apex.


Why would this be important in Optimum Health? Three reasons; the first is that the level of control over one’s basic physical survival, (in our current paradigm, this takes the form of finances and access to resources) increases as they move toward the apex – fewer people have direct influence over major areas of a person’s life the closer s/he gets to the pinnacle.


Factors such as whether a person has an income and how much they earn, are examples of specific areas that a person gains increased command over as he or she nears the top of the Social Ecosystemic pyramid. In other words, there are less people that have the capacity to fire or hire you; less people who decide how much or how little money you make; less to decide when you work and the terms of that work; less who decide whether or when there is time off for family or leisure.


The closer a person gets to the top of the Social Ecosystem pyramid, the more control they have over their time and resources, and decision-making capacity increases dramatically. For example, heads of state have the ultimate decision-making capacity; the decisions they make affect the entire social and economic ecosystem of our pyramid. They have ultimate control over their own finances, when and under what terms they work; access to more resources than anyone else in the Overarch; and ultimate control over how much income they are able to generate (not all of it necessarily being through earned income from their “job”). The same is true for others who are not heads of state, but are on par with that positioning on the pyramind.


The second major reason that this Modality should be a significant consideration in evaluating anyone’s capacity to achieve Optimum health and success in life is that the further up the pyramid they are situated, the lower their levels of chronic stress. An overwhelming number of studies have shown that predictability and control over one’s life, one’s body, one’s destiny, one’s finances, etc., is directly linked to stress levels; the less the amount of control, the higher the stress levels. And, levels of stress, especially chronic stress which is the type most common to this particular Modality, are directly linked to how healthy a person is in each of the other Modalities.


So, our aforementioned heads of state may consider themselves to be Optimally healthy in this Modality because of the level of control that being in their position affords them. Yet, whether or not they are Optimally healthy in the other Four Modalities, is debatable. Depending on what one’s definition of “success” is, having a position that affords ultimate financial control and access to resources, while having chronic ailments related to suppression of emotions does not make for optimum quality of life.


The third reason is that this Modality affects each of the other four. It has a direct relationship with the Mind, Body, Spirit, and Emotions. Some of the factors that have direct bearing on where we fall in the Overarch are the social dynamics of a particular region; economic strata; one’s relationship to his/her surroundings; and the accepted wider cultural perception of a person or group. Whether you are male or female, whether you are Asian, Latino, European, or American; whether you are considered Wealthy, middle class, or working class; whether you never finished high school, or have several post-graduate degrees under your belt. All of these factors contribute to where you are positioned in the Overarch. And, that positioning absolutely lends itself to how you are perceived by your environment, how your enironment relates to you, and by extension, has the capacity to shape your thoughts and perceptions about yourself, your abilities, and what you are entitled to in this world. This all has a profound effect on each of the Five Modalities.


In order for Optimum success and health, one must strive to be healthy in all Five Modalities: Mind, Body, Emotions, Spirit, and the Overarch, or Social Ecosystem; creating balance, and thus, actualizing maximum potential, through placing equal weight in each Modality.


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Sunday, 6 July 2014

Five Modalities of Success




The Five Modalities of Optimum Success: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotions, & the Overarch







by: Neesha D. Meminger








The Five Modalities of Optimum Health: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotions, & the Overarch.








Optimum health, wealth, and success, require peak performance, or functioning, in each of the five major layers of the Self – what I have come to define in my Coaching practice as the Five Modalities. There are the basic three: Mind, Body, and Spirit, that many “progressive” thinkers in the current medical paradigm are beginning to acknowledge and embrace.








The fourth layer is the Modality of the Emotions which is as important as the above-mentioned three; and I coach through a fifth Modality that has yet to become part of the ongoing conversation about Optimum health and success: what I refer to as the Overarch, or Social Ecosystem .








Each of us is born into a Social, or Economic Ecosystem. The dictionary definition of an Ecosystem is: “a localized group of interdependent organisms together with the environment that they inhabit and depend on.” So, we all enter into this world ecosystem in a particular social or economic status. And, we enter into this world as interdependent creatures. Socially, and economically, we depend on one another for survival, just as much as we depend on the earth for our food and water and other essentials.








Although our social or economic status can change throughout our lives, based on a variety of factors; the structure of the Overarch, itself, remains intact, and will continue to remain thus. It has been this way for thousands and thousands of years in all parts of the world.








This structure is hierarchical in nature, resembling a pyramid. Those near the apex, have more control, access to resources, and decision-making capabilities than the ones near the base. Yet, those toward the apex are only able to exist at that spot with the support of all those that are holding them there from the base on up. So, we all fall into position somewhere in this hierarchical pyramid structure. And, as the physical structure of a pyramid would suggest, the vast majority of the world’s population is closer to the base of the pyramid than the apex.








Why would this be important in Optimum Health? Three reasons; the first is that the level of control over one’s basic physical survival, (in our current paradigm, this takes the form of finances and access to resources) increases as they move toward the apex – fewer people have direct influence over major areas of a person’s life the closer s/he gets to the pinnacle.








Factors such as whether a person has an income and how much they earn, are examples of specific areas that a person gains increased command over as he or she nears the top of the Social Ecosystemic pyramid. In other words, there are less people that have the capacity to fire or hire you; less people who decide how much or how little money you make; less to decide when you work and the terms of that work; less who decide whether or when there is time off for family or leisure.








The closer a person gets to the top of the Social Ecosystem pyramid, the more control they have over their time and resources, and decision-making capacity increases dramatically. For example, heads of state have the ultimate decision-making capacity; the decisions they make affect the entire social and economic ecosystem of our pyramid. They have ultimate control over their own finances, when and under what terms they work; access to more resources than anyone else in the Overarch; and ultimate control over how much income they are able to generate (not all of it necessarily being through earned income from their “job”). The same is true for others who are not heads of state, but are on par with that positioning on the pyramind.








The second major reason that this Modality should be a significant consideration in evaluating anyone’s capacity to achieve Optimum health and success in life is that the further up the pyramid they are situated, the lower their levels of chronic stress. An overwhelming number of studies have shown that predictability and control over one’s life, one’s body, one’s destiny, one’s finances, etc., is directly linked to stress levels; the less the amount of control, the higher the stress levels. And, levels of stress, especially chronic stress which is the type most common to this particular Modality, are directly linked to how healthy a person is in each of the other Modalities.








So, our aforementioned heads of state may consider themselves to be Optimally healthy in this Modality because of the level of control that being in their position affords them. Yet, whether or not they are Optimally healthy in the other Four Modalities, is debatable. Depending on what one’s definition of “success” is, having a position that affords ultimate financial control and access to resources, while having chronic ailments related to suppression of emotions does not make for optimum quality of life.








The third reason is that this Modality affects each of the other four. It has a direct relationship with the Mind, Body, Spirit, and Emotions. Some of the factors that have direct bearing on where we fall in the Overarch are the social dynamics of a particular region; economic strata; one’s relationship to his/her surroundings; and the accepted wider cultural perception of a person or group. Whether you are male or female, whether you are Asian, Latino, European, or American; whether you are considered Wealthy, middle class, or working class; whether you never finished high school, or have several post-graduate degrees under your belt. All of these factors contribute to where you are positioned in the Overarch. And, that positioning absolutely lends itself to how you are perceived by your environment, how your enironment relates to you, and by extension, has the capacity to shape your thoughts and perceptions about yourself, your abilities, and what you are entitled to in this world. This all has a profound effect on each of the Five Modalities.








In order for Optimum success and health, one must strive to be healthy in all Five Modalities: Mind, Body, Emotions, Spirit, and the Overarch, or Social Ecosystem; creating balance, and thus, actualizing maximum potential, through placing equal weight in each Modality.








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