Showing posts with label Persuasion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Persuasion. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

12 Ways to Persuade without Manipulating

by: Cucan Pemo


There is a fine line between persuading someone and trying to manipulate the way that they think. And when you’re in a loving relationship, you should be focusing on the positive aspects of persuasion and discussion, rather than ways to trick someone into agreeing with you.


Honesty is truly the best policy


It can’t be stressed enough that being honest about what you want is that best way to start influencing your relationship because it creates a no-games way of looking at problems and conflicts. Instead of your partner wondering what you mean, they will know exactly what you need.


Know what you want


And do you already know what you want? Many times, manipulation is easier for those that don’t really know what they want to achieve from a discussion. In order to avoid this, you will want to make sure that you have a clear idea of what you want share with your partner and what you want to achieve as a result.


Acknowledge what they want


But it’s not just about you either. You need to be sure that you know what your partner wants in the situation as well. Ask them to be clear about the way that they want your relationship to be, and then be sure to acknowledge that in your persuasion. A partnership includes two people.


Realize that you can’t change minds


You won’t always be able to change their mind, nor should that be a goal of yours. What you do want to do is persuade them to look at a situation or problem in the way that you are. They might have other ideas that they want to share with you; other perspectives that you might not understand. And from their own way of thinking, they might never change their way of looking at things.


Honesty anyone?


Once again, when you refuse to build a relationship on lies, you can move from conflict into resolution much more efficiently. When you find yourself in a lie, you will want to explain yourself immediately and then correct the wrong statement.


Information is best


When you want to correct a problem or smooth a situation in a relationship, you will want to get the facts straight so that you can present your case accurately. Instead of using facts that would help your persuasion, you will want to use the real facts. For example, instead of saying the other person never wants to do anything, show examples of how this happens.


Let them talk too


But again, this isn’t all about you. You need to hear what your partner thinks and feels as well to start moving toward some sort of compromise. Ask them what they think about what you have said and whether there’s anything else that they might want to add. Try to engage them in dialogue so it’s not a one-sided conversation.


Admit when you’re wrong


And you will be wrong in your thinking or ideas, so be sure to admit that. Partners like it when you admit to being fallible. We all make mistakes and we’re much more likely to listen to those that admit to doing so.


Honesty once more


When you have ulterior motivations for your discussions with a partner, you are creating a situation in which only one of you is benefiting from a promise or a solution. Instead of what kind of situation, why not be honest about what you’re really trying to achieve?


Choose common ground


If you choose a location for your discussion that you are comfortable in, but your partner is not, you will automatically put them on the defensive. Instead, choose a place that is neutral and gives no one the advantage. Or if you’re the one that wants to have the discussion, have your partner choose where you will talk.


Pick the right time


Being rushed or tired is not a good way to feel during an important discussion. You want to choose a time that works out best for the both of you. This might mean that you both have to clear your schedules or make time available – but it creates the best possible conditions.


Honesty always


Just in case you didn’t already realize it, being honest is the only way to avoid manipulation. Even the tiniest infraction will lead to further distrust of each other.


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Monday, 1 September 2014

Public Speaking: Delivering The Right Message

Public Speaking Tips – Are You Delivering the Right Type of Speech?


By





Expert Author Ernest Chen “No matter how good our policies may be, if the public does not appreciate or accept them, we lose their support and understanding.”



- Lim Siong Guan, former Civil Service Chief Singapore.


A good speech is focused and purposeful, and it has an appeal to the audience. The speech must be easily understood and the audience can relate the speech to them.


The best guideline is to ask yourself: what is your purpose in giving the speech.


The general purpose of a speech has to be one of the following:



Do You Want to Inform Your Audience?


English: A member of the audience holds a &quo...

English: A member of the audience holds a “Thank You” sign during President Barack Obama’s speech on medicare fraud and health care insurance reform at St. Charles High School in St. Charles, Mo., March 10, 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



We are in the midst of an information explosion. It has been said that the average person receives more than 20,000 words of information every day. Speaking to inform is the most common form of communication. These speeches can take the form of reports in business meetings, teacher-parents meetings, a marketing talk, or a talk on time management. The ultimate goal of these speeches is to inform.


Do You Want to Persuade Your Audience?


The purpose of this speech is to persuade and to influence the listener to believe and to act. The ability to persuade and to get other people to understand, accept and act upon your ideas, is an essential quality of leadership. The speaker uses goals, reasoning and evidence to identify with the audience and engage them with emotional appeals.


Do You Want to Motivate Your Audience?


The purpose of a motivational speech is to encourage the audience to set realistic goals and take responsibility for their lives, careers, personal and professional growth. The focus is on positive thinking and using tools like personal stories and examples illustrating how others have achieved success.


Do You Want to Inspire Your Audience?


This is a speech of the highest quality, and only an effective speaker can achieve the desired purpose. The desired purpose is to uplift the audience and inspire them to take action. It is a speech that challenges listeners to embrace noble motives or encourage them to achieve specific objectives, sometimes with personal sacrifice.


Do You Want to Entertain Your Audience?


Entertainment is a universal human need, more in demand now than ever before. As a speaker, you will often be asked to help fulfill the needs of the audience. The purpose to entertain is not an easy task because you have to entertain everyone and not everyone will appreciate your light hearted humour and some are often very serious in their outlook.


The intent of this speech is to get the audience to enjoy the talk rather than changing their belief or giving them tough information to digest.


Do You Motivate or Inspire?


Italiano: Author, life coach, and motivational...

Author, life coach, and motivational speaker Tony Robbins. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



There is a marked distinction between motivational and inspirational speeches. Many speakers do not see the difference between the two of them. A motivational speech can include some of the aspects of inspirational techniques. However, an inspirational speech has to stand alone. Inspirational speech has to be focused.


Here are the ingredients that makes up a motivational speech:



  • Share personal strategies of success

  • Relate to familiar situations the audience may face.

  • Issue an immediate challenge to the audience Inculcate faith in the action

  • Use vocal variety and apply Conversational tone

  • Share your recipe of success

  • Make the audience believe in your purpose

  • Make the audience understand the concept

  • Discuss the immediate benefits to the audience


And here’s what a public speaker will want to do if he or she is interested in delivering a truly inspiring speech:



  • Share personal success stories

  • Make the stories real

  • Inculcate faith in the action

  • Use a loud tone and pitch it at their hearts

  • Speak with enthusiasm and vigour

  • Explain that success is universal and repeatable

  • Overcome the adversity to achieve a personal goal

  • Touch the nerve of the audience and send an emotional signal to them



For over 30 years, Ernest Chen, Singapore highly sought after public speaking coach and author of bestseller “Earnestly Speaking”, has helped over tens of thousands of individual achieve their dreams of becoming better and more efficient public speakers.


Regardless if is your dream to overcome your public speaking fears, to become a more engaging Master of Ceremonies or to learn the tricks to writing powerful and captivating public speeches that either motivate, inspire, persuade, entertain or inform your audience, Ernest can help you achieve all of them.


For more information about his Singapore public speaking courses, visit his website at http://ift.tt/1eTPxtM


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Monday, 11 August 2014

The Laws Of Persuasion

Why The Laws Of Persuasion Work

by: Kurt Mortensen


As the species whose thinking ability supposedly separates us from the animals, we really don’t spend much of our life reasoning. Most of the time our minds get stuck on cruise control. Thinking takes up too much time and requires too much energy. Imagine having to think about every decision we make. It wouldn’t leave us much time to accomplish anything else, would it? Most of us have a systematic way of looking at the world. When this mode is operating, our minds are perfectly primed to automatically respond to persuasion triggers. I call these triggers the Laws of Persuasion.


The Laws of Persuasion operate below our conscious thoughts. When employed properly, your prospects don’t even realize you’re using them. On the other hand, if you blunder your way through a persuasion situation, your audience will be totally aware of what you’re doing. It’s like seeing a police car on the side of the road–it jars us back to reality. If the persuader is skilled, he or she will use the Laws of Persuasion so the message is delivered below the radar.


Understanding the Laws of Persuasion involves understanding the human psyche. Such knowledge empowers you to improve your persuasive abilities. It magnifies your effectiveness in relationships, improves your parenting skills, enhances your leadership ability, and helps you sell yourself and your ideas. In short, it maximizes your influence.


Man thinking on a train journey.

Man thinking on a train journey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



In his book Triggers, Joseph Sugarman estimates that 95 percent of the reasoning behind a consumer’s purchase is associated with a subconscious decision. In other words, most buying is done for reasons a person hasn’t even fully formulated. Dr. Gregory Neidert estimates that our brains actually run on idle 90 to 95 percent of the time. Let’s face it, thinking is hard work. It is human nature to conserve cognitive energy. Thinking burns three times as many calories as watching TV. Those who use their brains for a living have traditionally been among the highest paid professionals. Consider the incomes for doctors, lawyers, and engineers, just to name a few. Most of us feel we don’t have the time or even the desire to think on the level that these professionals do each day.


What are the main reasons we choose not to think? First, sometimes the amount of information available is so overwhelming we don’t even attempt to digest any of it. Sometimes our decisions simply aren’t weighty enough to warrant the effort of researching all the available information. Consciously and subconsciously, from the bombardment of information we receive, we selectively choose what we will acknowledge and what we will ignore.


Whether we realize it or not, we love shortcuts to thinking. When we buy an item, we don’t always take the time to research the product or read the latest consumer guide’s ratings on the product. Instead, we often rely on the salesperson’s advice. We might just buy the most popular brand, or we might bring a friend along for his opinion. Although we would never admit it, we sometimes even buy an item just because of its color or packaging. Certainly we know this is not the best way to make decisions, but we all do it anyway, even when we know we might make a mistake or feel regretful afterwards. If we thoroughly considered every single decision, we would constantly be overwhelmed and we’d never get anything done.


Recall a situation where you where persuaded or acted without thinking?


The Laws of Persuasion are so powerful because they capitalize on two very predictable things: one, what we expect from human nature, and two, how people will respond in certain situations. People react predictably under a given set of circumstances. If we learn to recognize how the Laws of Persuasion work, we will know how to use them in our interactions with others. We will also become more aware of how others will attempt to use them on us.


There are two paths to persuasion: the conscious and the subconscious. Both paths can persuade others to your way of thinking, but each path uses a very different means of processing information.


In the conscious path, both you and your audience make an active or conscious attempt to understand, define, and process an argument. A person who is interested in your persuasive attempts will be highly motivated to listen. As such, she will also be able to consciously evaluate your message by carefully weighing the pros and cons of the evidence you present.


On the subconscious path, the listener spends little or no time processing the information. This approach results in those automatic triggers we previously talked about. These knee-jerk reactions happen when you follow your intuition or use a mental shortcut. Your mind reaches a decision without doing any logical processing. These subconscious decisions are largely driven by instinct and emotion. Individuals who spend lots of time on the subconscious path do so because they lack the time, motivation, desire, or ability to really listen to your message. They’re not really involved in the subject. They use their instinct or emotions instead of their intellect. Passive processing and automatic decision triggers rule their decision making.


Our minds are programmed with automatic persuasion triggers. Most of us experience persuasive situations without realizing or thinking about it. Master Persuaders know what these triggers are and how to utilize them to their advantage. Understanding the Laws of Persuasion helps us become aware of how we are influenced without having conscious knowledge of it.


Learning to influence and persuade takes time, skill, and experience. What most people don’t realize is that we already instinctively use many of these laws in our daily communications. The same Laws of Persuasion that we unknowingly use every day are the very same ones Master Persuaders use deliberately, consciously, and consistently. Master Persuaders make persuasion a habit. Think about how conscientious you were when you first started driving. Now, after years of practice, driving a car doesn’t require as much thought or focus. Master Persuaders understand the rules of persuasion and practice them constantly. They can apply the techniques subconsciously, without even thinking about them. For them, the application of persuasion has become second nature.


Application Questions


1. Why do you think most decisions are made on a subconscious level?


2. Can you think of a time when you bought something and rationalized it later with conscious thought?


3. How can you use this information to benefit you in your ability to persuade?


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