Showing posts with label New York Times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York Times. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Will Power and Discipline

Will Power, Self Control and Self Discipline


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will-power1-300x225 An interesting study reported in Sunday’s New York Times disputes a widely-accepted belief: that will power depends largely on chemical events in the body, especially in connection with glucose, and that it’s more or less beyond our conscious control, a question of biology rather than self-discipline. This new study found that people who believe willpower actually is limited perform significantly worse on assigned tasks than people who believe it is not limited. In other words, will power and self-control are limited only if you believe they are. It’s an interesting piece, and not very long — you might want to read the whole thing.



As I was reading this article, it resonated with my familiar objections to the diagnostic labels contained in the DSM-IV, as well as to the theory holding that mental illness is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. The use and abuse of psychological diagnosis, to begin with, makes people believe they have a recognizable disorder, akin to a medical syndrome, and that it’s beyond their control to do anything about it. If you are told and believe you suffer from borderline personality disorder, that it’s a lifelong malady you can do little to modify, then you have no reason to struggle with it and try to gain insight. If you are told and believe you suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome, you won’t try to understand the particular nature of your defense mechanisms and to confront what lies beyond them. In my experience, providing a psychological diagnosis to people essentially deprives their suffering of its meaning, discourages them from self-exploration and encourages a sort of passivity. “I have Asperger’s Syndrome — what can I do?” I don’t mean this as a criticism. When the medical establishment, the media and just about everything in our culture supports this view, why should anyone believe otherwise?


Moody The chemical imbalance theory is even worse. Because people are told and believe that their symptoms of depression, their panic attacks or their bipolar disorder symptoms all result from chemical irregularities in their brain chemistry, they have no reason to dig in and do the hard work of self-exploration. It’s a chemical imbalance; I was born that way and I need to take a pill to rectify it, like my doctor said. One of the beneficial side-effects of the medicalization of mental health is removing much of the stigma from mental illness, especially as celebrities such as Catherine Zeta-Jones have publicly acknowledged their struggles with bipolar disorder and other issues. But in the face of the relentless public relations push for psychiatric medication as the answer to all forms of mental illness, few people have the will power and self-control to struggle with their inner conflicts. They have been told that will power and self-control are irrelevant — it’s all about your biology — and so they believe they can do nothing to help themselves get better.


There are some bright spots in the mental health profession. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy provides depressed clients with some useful techniques for coping with their negative self-talk and self-defeating behaviors — in other words, it assumes that you can make a difference in your state of mind by exerting effort. Will power and self discipline are necessary parts of the work. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy appears to be effective in reducing suicidality, substance abuse and hospitalizations with borderline personality disorder, using a highly structured program to help clients develop a degree of self-control where impulsive behavior is concerned. Neither treatment modality explores the meaning of the client’s symptoms, however, or helps them access their unconscious dynamics. Both reduce people to a recognizable syndrome that can be treated with a uniform approach, in the process accepting severe limitations on what is possible to achieve through psychotherapy.


life changing moment Assumptions by the therapist as to what is possible for any given client will naturally have a profound impact on the treatment. If therapists believe they can do little to help a borderline client, they will communicate such a conviction to that client, who will then come to believe it as well. If a therapist believes that his or her client’s depression is the result of a chemical imbalance, both therapist and client will come to share limited expectations for what their work together can accomplish. Everywhere I look within my profession, I see evidence of this acceptance of limitations, a kind of widespread learned helplessness in the face of mental illness, a rejection of the long hard work involved in psychodynamic psychotherapy. I’m not advocating a return to the era when we blamed people for their difficulties, when our culture viewed mental illness as a weakness, a lack of will power, the failure of self-discipline; but the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction, so that we no longer expect anyone to take responsibility for their struggles.


It’s a medically-recognized syndrome, a chemical imbalance — you can’t help it. When you accept such a belief, you’re like the subject in that study from the NYT article, who did significantly worse on assigned tasks when they believed their own will power and self control were limited.



Joseph Burgo PhD is a clinical psychologist who writes about mental health issues such as symptoms of depression and shame on his website, ‘After Psychotherapy’.






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Sunday, 21 September 2014

Keys to Business Etiquette

by: Silas Reed


Etiquette is presenting yourself in such a manner that urges people to take you seriously. Etiquette also means to be comfortable among the people and also make them feel comfortable around you. The key factor behind a business to be successful is the employees, customers and/or the trading partner. So etiquette always plays an important role for the success of an organization.


Basic qualities


Although there are a number of guidelines and basic keys to business etiquette, it depends on the people, situation, local culture and many other factors. Besides following the rules of manners one should keep an open mind while communicating with the people. One should respect other’s culture, feeling and thoughts and be cool as far as possible in case of a dispute and try to find the solution.


It is very hard for an ill-tempered person to succeed in any field which demands public relation including business. One must be courteous, thoughtful and generous about the people around him and should try to avoid any unintentional violation of manners for their part. These are the common and basic qualities of business etiquette and the key of being a successful businessman and/or professional.


Business etiquettes


Learning business etiquettes is very important for anyone associated with the corporate world. The keys to business etiquettes include the following:


Punctuality:


This is the quality which impresses most of the people. One should attend a meeting at the right time. It shows that the person is responsible and serious about the matter. So other persons feel respected and in turn they also respect the person.


Appearance:


One should show adequate interest, attention and ambition while communicating and should present himself in that manner. He should be dressed and shaved properly. If s/he has confusion about the costume it is safe to wear conservative formal dresses.


Remember names:


One must remember the names and designations of those with whom he has been introduced. This will make them feel important. Otherwise he may be thought to be unintelligent and disorganized or worse: that he simply doesn’t care.


Attention:


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Description unavailable (Photo credit: pennstatelive)



One must switch off his mobile phone before attending the conference. Otherwise, it may create disturbance and other may loss their attention.


Answering:


It is desired out of simple business manners that one should return phone calls and e-mails especially the ones s/he promised to.


The keys to business etiquette lies in the fact how one deals with the people in his surroundings. The moral of the story is one should give importance and respect to other people and co-workers.


Apart from these there is much etiquette to be followed in a business environment such as how to hold a fork and spoon properly in a dining table. These are required to be involved in corporate culture. But a fresher may not be too much worried about these. Because generally seniors do not mind for a minor mistake here and sometimes try to train him with a generous mind.


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Saturday, 20 September 2014

Does Psychotherapy Work?

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced what I had learned, and I was never happy with the results.


I saw that people often felt better for the moment, or resolved a particular issue, but that when new issues came up, they didn’t have a process for dealing with them. In all the years of my own therapy, I had never learned a process either – a process for loving myself and taking 100% responsibility for my own feelings and needs. In fact, taking responsibility for my feelings was never a part of any of the therapies I had experienced. I had learned to express my feelings – which often turned out to be a form of control – but not how I was creating my own feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, guilt and shame.


I no longer practice traditional psychotherapy because, in my experience, it doesn’t work. For the past 23 years I have worked with clients with the Inner Bonding process. In fact, I have many psychotherapists in my practice learning this process, because they are discouraged with the results of traditional psychotherapy in their work and in their own lives.


WHAT WORKS AND WHAT DOESN’T WORK


Psychotherapy Research

Psychotherapy Research (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



So, does psychotherapy work? It does if what you are learning about is how to connect with your own feelings and take responsibility for them; how to discover the false beliefs that are creating your painful feelings; and how to connect with a personal source of spiritual Guidance that teaches you the truth and the loving action toward yourself. It works when you are willing to learn to take loving action in your own behalf and share your love with others. It works when you are willing to stop blaming the past, your parents, your partner, society, events, or God for your suffering and learn that you are the cause of your own suffering. It works when you are willing to stop seeing yourself as a victim of others and circumstances and learn to be loving to yourself.


What does not work is spending years analyzing the past. While the past shaped our beliefs, and it is important to understand where we learned what we learned, dwelling on it is a waste of time. In my experience, if we stay current with discovering the false beliefs that cause our painful feelings, the past will become illuminated. When we realize, for example, that we spend much time and energy judging ourselves, it is easy to go into the past to see where we learned this. Did one or both of your parents judge you? Did they judge themselves? What was the role modeling you grew up with? Did either of your parents take responsibility for their feelings, or were they victims, blaming each other or you or others for their misery? It is not hard to learn about the past when we are willing to examine our current choices and behavior toward ourselves and others.


YOUR SPIRITUAL CONNECTION


Psychotherapy that does not include developing a spiritual connection does not work. Our spiritual connection is the Source we need to turn to for wisdom and comfort. In order to deal lovingly with the challenges of life, we need to know that we are not alone, and that we always have our higher Guidance to turn to for the truth and loving action toward ourselves and others.


True healing is about learning how to take full, 100% responsibility for our own feelings and needs. It is about moving out of self-abandonment and emotional dependency and into emotional freedom. When you find a therapist, facilitator or coach who helps you to do this, then you will find great benefit.


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