Are You Free Of Jealousy?

Freedom From Jealousy

by: Susan Russo

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead your own.”

-Harold Coffin

Do you ever wish you were someone else or had what someone else has? Do you find yourself in a mental competition with someone and they aren’t even aware that they are in the race? Do you look at other people and compare who they are and what they have to who you feel you aren’t and what you feel you lack?

Whether you are looking at a co-worker, neighbor, ex partner, family member or friend and wishing you possessed their talent, their looks, their money, their happiness , education level, physique or whatever it is you feel you want that they have, it’s time to take the focus off of them and celebrate yourself.

No two people are alike. You are a great person who is uniquely special with a combination of your own strengths and talents. You have strengths that you don’t even acknowledge or recognize because you are so busy looking at that one thing that you believe would bring you more happiness if you had it.

The truth is someone may be better looking or richer or seemingly happier but until you stop looking at them as if they and their life is the end all and be all; how do you expect to appreciate your life?

There will always be someone who is thinner, smarter, funnier, has more money, is better looking, can dance better, sing better, has a nicer home or faster car but there is only one of you. When you compare yourself to others and make it so that you don’t measure up, what kind of impact do you think that has on your self esteem?

Living your life wanting to be someone else or have what they do negates the very essence of who you are, it strips you of your God given gifts and diminishes the light inside of you.

Just for today, put aside dwelling on what others have and look at all of the goodness and greatness of your life. You have so much that you push to the side just because you believe that someone else has more. No one can make you feel small but yourself. No one can make you realize how lucky you are if you won’t admit it.

Jealousy isn’t something anyone wants to possess. So if you find yourself longing for what others have, stop and remind yourself that there are some people who may wish they were you or had YOUR unique qualities and the things you possess that they don’t.

There is always someone who has it worse than you. So maybe you would like to trade places with them? Or maybe you should start to relish in all of your glory for who you are and all that you DO have in your life.

By eradicating the green eyed monster of jealousy and living without envy; it frees you to accept people with all of their accomplishments and what they have been blessed with and to genuinely be happy for them.

But more importantly it takes You to another level of living your life celebrating all that you are and have and instead of crying about your life you can begin to truly appreciate all that you have been blessed with.

About The Author

To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://ift.tt/1bSQHc1

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The post Are You Free Of Jealousy? appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Self-Destructive Jealousy

How To Kill That Self-Destructive Monster Called Jealousy

by: Burrel Lee Wilks III

Les came to me a few months ago, fearful that his wife was having an affair. They’d been having problems, and she was spending more and more time out of the house, apparently out with friends. Les didn’t believe her for a second, and spent the time stewing at home, dialing her cell number, and on more than one occasion, cruising around to see if he could see her out and about.

As soon as she came home, she’d be given a relentless grilling, and over time she shut him down entirely. Communication dried up, and the relationship was, it appeared, all but over.

He looked dreadful: tried, overwrought and overweight. His skin was bad, his breath was nasty, and he displayed all the classic signs of a guy who was being eaten up, from the inside out.

And of course all this desperation and jealousy was not only making him sad and sick, it was driving her further and further away too! His lack of trust in her was not only deeply insulting but was eroding anything good they’d ever had.

Now Les desperately wanted to get out of this horrible mess, and was willing to work with me to completely change his perspective and behaviors.

I can guarantee that letting your jealousy show is a fail-safe way to lose your dignity, dismantle your self-esteem and frankly, ruin your life! Nothing will ruin a relationship or marriage faster than jealously. It creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate and fear. No one thinks clearly when they’re jealous.

Having a relationship with a jealous person is no fun either. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even transforming them from lover and supporter, to enemy.

No one wants a jealous partner and no one likes being jealous. So how come so many people are?

In my experience there are a number of reasons, but the primary cause is a breakdown in communications, and this usually happens for one of two reasons:

Something has changed, and for some reason you don’t feel able to communicate openly and honestly anymore…

“Jealousy and Flirtation” depicts a woman jealous of the attention given to another woman by a man. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Or perhaps one or both partners are manipulating their power by withholding information out of anger, hurt or even just plain thoughtlessness.

Both situations create communication “black-holes” which are then easily filled with fill fear, fury and fantasy.

Communication vacuums open up room for tons of tough questions from the jealous guy. “Has she found someone she likes better than me?” “Is she cheating on me?” “Is she going to leave me?” “Has she found someone richer, younger, funnier?”

When you’re jealous you assume the worst:

“Maybe she’ll fall in love with her personal trainer and leave me.”

“She’s going to lunch with her boss because she’s having an affair with him.”

“She’s not answering the phone because she’s in bed with some guy in a motel!” You know how that one goes? I bet you felt pretty stupid too, when she came in from the supermarket carrying loads of groceries, but even as you unpacked those groceries I bet you were still looking for clues that she’d been cheating!

Wow. We sure make life tough for ourselves sometimes.

So how do you handle these awful feelings of jealousy? How do you deal with a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend who is jealous?

First if you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions. Open up the lines again. Don’t be aggressive, defensive, confrontation or prickly.

Second, and just as important, you have to stop looking thirsty for reassurance. How on earth can she respect you, if you don’t respect yourself enough to control your fears and paranoia?

Thirdly, you have to remind yourself why you are together in the first place, and understand that a relationship is only worth keeping alive if you CAN trust each other. If that trust is lost forever, then maybe it’s time to move on.

Remember, jealousy is demeaning and humiliation. It is a sign of weakness and fear. In the end the fastest way to kill the monster has nothing to do with your partner, and everything to do with you. When you have great self-esteem, jealousy has no choice but to pack it’s bags, and leave town!

Source

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The post Self-Destructive Jealousy appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Are You Free Of Jealousy?

Freedom From Jealousy

by: Susan Russo

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead your own.”

-Harold Coffin

Do you ever wish you were someone else or had what someone else has? Do you find yourself in a mental competition with someone and they aren’t even aware that they are in the race? Do you look at other people and compare who they are and what they have to who you feel you aren’t and what you feel you lack?

Whether you are looking at a co-worker, neighbor, ex partner, family member or friend and wishing you possessed their talent, their looks, their money, their happiness , education level, physique or whatever it is you feel you want that they have, it’s time to take the focus off of them and celebrate yourself.

No two people are alike. You are a great person who is uniquely special with a combination of your own strengths and talents. You have strengths that you don’t even acknowledge or recognize because you are so busy looking at that one thing that you believe would bring you more happiness if you had it.

The truth is someone may be better looking or richer or seemingly happier but until you stop looking at them as if they and their life is the end all and be all; how do you expect to appreciate your life?

There will always be someone who is thinner, smarter, funnier, has more money, is better looking, can dance better, sing better, has a nicer home or faster car but there is only one of you. When you compare yourself to others and make it so that you don’t measure up, what kind of impact do you think that has on your self esteem?

Living your life wanting to be someone else or have what they do negates the very essence of who you are, it strips you of your God given gifts and diminishes the light inside of you.

Just for today, put aside dwelling on what others have and look at all of the goodness and greatness of your life. You have so much that you push to the side just because you believe that someone else has more. No one can make you feel small but yourself. No one can make you realize how lucky you are if you won’t admit it.

Jealousy isn’t something anyone wants to possess. So if you find yourself longing for what others have, stop and remind yourself that there are some people who may wish they were you or had YOUR unique qualities and the things you possess that they don’t.

There is always someone who has it worse than you. So maybe you would like to trade places with them? Or maybe you should start to relish in all of your glory for who you are and all that you DO have in your life.

By eradicating the green eyed monster of jealousy and living without envy; it frees you to accept people with all of their accomplishments and what they have been blessed with and to genuinely be happy for them.

But more importantly it takes You to another level of living your life celebrating all that you are and have and instead of crying about your life you can begin to truly appreciate all that you have been blessed with.

About The Author

To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://ift.tt/1bSQHc1

Related articles

• Irrational Jealousy


• The Depth Of Jealousy/Lies, Deception, Corruption, And Destruction, Through The Jealous And The Envious.


• Jealousy – Do you slay the green-eyed monster OR do you offer it a chair and break out the milk and cookies?


• Jealousy (Part 1): When The Green-Eyed Monster GRIPS You


• The flip sides of jealousy


• Jealousy- A force behind much more than we realize


• Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Dealing with Jealousy – Again!


• Is that Envy I see?


• Jealousy


• My Tarot Card Reading

Robert Recommends...

• Irrational Jealousy


• Your Choices Have Consequences


• 10 Sure Fire Ways To Empower Yourself


• Sharing As Equals in A Relationship


• See All Events As Positive


• 5 Positive Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

The post Are You Free Of Jealousy? appeared first on Robert JR Graham.