Showing posts with label Feeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feeling. Show all posts

Thursday, 11 September 2014

The Language of the Soul

Feeling is the Language of the Soul


By Neale Donald Walsh


In life, the biggest choice you will ever make is the choice between your truth and the truth of another.


And how can you know which truth is “truly” yours? Conversations with God says by listening to what you are feeling. Feelings reside in the soul, and the soul is God-in-you. In this place is your truth, and it is in no other.


Most of our adult lives are spent learning to trust our feelings. This is not surprising, since most of our growing up years were spent learning to ignore them.


Many people were told as children that feelings were not “good.” It was not “good” to be angry and to show it. It was not “good” to feel jealous and to show it. It was not “good” to feel scared and to show it. It was not “good” even to feel too excited and to show it. It was not good, it was not good, it was not good.


If we ran into a room filled from head to toe with youthful exuberance, we were told to hold it down, to not interrupt, to keep still. If we stormed away hurt and angry, we were told to stop that right now, apologize this instant; never speak to elders that way again. If we laughed too loud or cried too long, spoke too soon or asked too much, we were made to know that we had somehow done something “wrong.” We had not been “good.”


In all of this, we couldn’t have missed the point; we couldn’t have escaped the message. Life wasn’t about learning how to be, it was about learning how not to be, what we were.


For many adults the biggest challenge is to remember Who They Really Are. Such a big portion of them has been dropped by the wayside, left behind, abandoned, stifled, ignored.


Do you want to know who you are? Do you want to get back in touch with your truth about things — whatever those things may be? Then check out your feelings. Listen to your Soul.


Try not to confuse feelings with emotions.


Your feelings are what you know about a thing. Your emotions are what you do with what you know.


A feeling is energy. An emotion is energy in motion. There is a difference between the two.


Your feeling is your truth. It is exactly how you feel about a thing, based on what you factually and intuitively know. Because feelings are what you know about a thing, they will always be your truth, but they may not be the truth. That is, they may not be what you would have formerly called Objective Truth, especially if you look only at what you factually know, and set aside or ignore what you intuitively know.


There is no such thing as Objective or Factual Truth in this Reality. All truth in our world is created by the context within which it is experienced or observed.


Emotion is the power which creates, but it has nothing to do with what is really so. (Little of what you create in your life does.) Emotion is neither True nor False. It is simply energy in motion, and so, it simply is.


An emotion is an experience. A feeling is a knowing.


How you feel is what you know about a thing. How you express those feelings is how you emote — or experience emotion. That is, how you place energy into motion.


(Excerpt from “Conversations with God” newsletter, Feb, 2003)


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Tuesday, 9 September 2014

How to Deal with Aggressive People

How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People

by: Peter Murphy


The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is regarded as a self help classic. Have you read it?


I read it many years ago and I was disappointed by the content of this book that has helped a lot of people take control of their fears. Why? Because I believe we all have the power to go far beyond feeling the fear.


And I really think it is important to learn how to transform fear into courage by learning how to use more of your mind and how to take charge of your emotions.


There are two ways to take fear and transform it into a different emotional state:



  • Release the fear by letting go of it.

  • Change the way you represent the experience so that it no longer makes you feel fearful.


Today I want to look at changing how you represent experiences to yourself.


1. Pick a person you deal with on a regular basis who you find intimidating. Get started by choosing someone who causes you to feel mild fear.


2. Ask yourself — what does it get me feeling fear around this person?


Typically you will answer that the fear causes you to be more alert and careful. However the irony is that when you feel fear you are less capable of responding well to the challenges of the situation.


Let me give you an example. When I lived the corporate sales life a number of years ago I had a crazy boss.


He would scream down the phone at me, thump the desk with his fist in meetings and threaten to fire me if certain goals were not achieved. I never took this personally because he treated other people in the same way. Still I did feel fear when dealing with him.


What did I get by feeling fear?


It meant I was careful to say the right thing and to do my job to the best of my abilities to ensure he had no reason to have another go at me.


Nevertheless it was not an ideal situation!


3. If you cannot influence the behavior of the intimidator change how you feel.


In the case of my boss I matched his behavior to get rapport. When he shouted at me I raised my voice to speak back. When he slammed the desk I became more animated in how I talked and I used my hands more when expressing myself.


This pacing will help. However it is not enough you also need to change how you feel.


Before you start working with the following approach make sure you are feeling energetic and resourceful otherwise you could get dragged back into the fear itself.


Now take a recent encounter with the intimidator and run the scene in your mind as if you are watching it on TV . Pretend you are outside the event watching as a bystander.


Next, distort the images until the other person looks absurd. Dress the person in silly clothes or even no clothes! Change their voice until it sounds squeaky like a cartoon character. Slow down their speech until it sounds like a worn out tape. Then speed up the speech until they sound like a bumble bee.


Play the scene backwards, upside down or with zero gravity. Do whatever you have to until the scene is ludicrous.


Keep playing with the sounds and images until you are either laughing or at least smiling when you think of the intimidator.


At this point you have turned fear into a more resourceful emotional state. Well done!


When you are new to this technique you will need to run through it several times until you get the hang of it. And for difficult situations I recommend using it daily to shake off those unpleasant feelings of fear you have associated to that person.


4. Keep the benefits of the fear and not the fear itself


After step 2 above you know how your fear is serving you.


Let us say the fear gives you alertness, safety and carefulness.


How are you going to behave carefully around the intimidator without feeling the fear?


You need to write down or run through likely scenarios in your mind until you are well prepared to handle whatever is thrown at you.


This step is very important and you are in trouble if you skip it.


In my case I was mentally ready to work elsewhere, I saved up some money so that if I did get fired it would not be the end of the world and I was always careful to only promise what I knew I could deliver.


If I had just changed how I felt without dealing effectively with the situation I would have been in a very difficult situation.


Your goal ought to be to feel resourceful and to be intelligent in how you deal with difficult people.


Using these tips will help you. How much this information helps will depend on how much energy you put into applying this approach.


When I look back on my aggressive boss situation I know that I could have done even more to handle it better. So like you I am always learning.


The important thing is to get started and keep heading in the right direction. And take even one step each day to take you forward.


NB: get help immediately if you are dealing with a violent individual


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Monday, 8 September 2014

Feeling Out of Control?

Feeling Out of Control


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Out-of-Control Have you ever been in a situation where you are feeling out of control of your life and you feel unable to do anything about it? Is your life drifting away and are you powerless to change anything? Whether the reason is fear of reprisal, lack of self esteem, being stuck in a rut or feeling obligated to someone. Are you able to identify with any of these questions? And would you like to do something about feeling out of control?


Surprisingly enough, many people have experienced this or are facing similar problems in their lives every day. In fact, I was one of them but I was able to turn my world around and regain my life several years ago.


Although turning your life around is quite a bold and brash statement to make, I can honestly say that is what I did. From feeling out of control, being a fearful, withdrawn, frightened of my own shadow type of person which is what I had become to someone who can enjoy life and accept any challenges that come my way.


boardroom_2115926b Several years ago my life consisted of somebody else being in control of my life, and although some people may find it difficult to comprehend, it is a situation that can happen without your realisation or ability to prevent it. You can be in a situation like this, feeling out of control and being unable to act sometimes for fear of reprisal, obligations to dependents (family) or just simply feel you cannot change events as your purpose or willpower has been taken away from you.


The most difficult part is taking some sort of action to put an end to it. It is all down to you to regain your life and take control. When you reach the point that you are not prepared or able to exist in this manner any longer, you have reached the point of no return. This is when you are ready to act and do something about it. From this moment on you are beginning to regain your life: it is the first step in the right direction. Although in most cases it will be a gradual process, you are on the road to recovery. You have thought everything through and you know the decision you have made is the right one: you have made a stand.


69-300x336 You will slowly realise that you can make the changes, it is possible to find a way out. So you will begin to form a plan in your mind, you will start setting goals to work towards, goals that can be achieved. This process is not unlike the chrysalis stage as you are in the process of developing and being reborn.


As time passes you will slowly begin to start living. Gradually you will be able to find yourself, and you will be able to plan your way forward. Taking a step at a time you will find your life opening up. Your self esteem will increase giving you more encouragement and support as you venture out, trying new things, meeting new people, expressing yourself, sharing ideas and opinions, gaining knowledge: basically just having the freedom of living a life full of purpose and desire. You are now in control


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