Showing posts with label Body Language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body Language. Show all posts

Saturday, 30 August 2014

A Body Language Primer

Body Language

by: Bud Smith


Body language is fascinating. People rarely recognize how much information they give off and how noticeable it is to the human eye. Even to the untrained human eye. It is said that no less that 50 percent of information on a person’s character, impact and credibility is conveyed through no verbal communication.


The following is a list of some common body postures and states the persons position.


Meanings of body actions


Arms crossed: Defensive and cautious.


Resting chin on palm: Critical, cynical and negative towards the other person.


Dropping eyeglasses onto the lower bridge of the nose and peering over them: Causes negative reactions in others.


Slowly and deliberately taking off glasses and carefully cleaning the lens: The person wants to pause and think before raising opposition or asking for clarification.


Pinching bridge of the nose: Communicates great thought and concern.


Nose-rubbing or nose-touching: A sign of doubt, it often reveals a negative reaction.


Rubbing around ears: Performed while weighing an answer, commonly coupled with ‘well, I don’t know’.


Resting feet on a desk or chair: Gestures of territorial hegemony.


Swaying back: Weak ego.


Retracted shoulders: Suppressed anger.


Direct Eye Contact: Interested, likes you


Smiling Eyes: Is comfortable


Relaxed Brow: Comfortable


Limited or No Eye Contact : Lying, uninterested, too confined, uncomfortable, distracted


Tension in Brow : Confusion, tension, fear


Shoulders hunched forward : Lacking interest or feeling inferior


Rigid Body Posture : Anxious, uptight




Body language.

Body language. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



Crossed arms : Can be just cold, protecting the body, or defensive


Tapping Fingers : Agitated, anxious, bored


Fidgeting with hands or objects (i.e., pen) : Bored or has something to say


Leaning forward : Interested


Fingers Interlocked placed behind the head leaving elbows open and armpits exposed : Very open to ideas, comfortable


Mirroring you : Likes you and wants to be friendly


Still : More interested in what you are saying than anything


Eyes open slightly more than usual: Gives people the impression that they are welcome.


Breath faster: Nervous or angry


Inhaling loudly and shortly: Wants to interrupt a speaking person


Loud sigh: Understand the thing that is being told.


Twisting the feet continuously : A person is nervous or concerned, but can also mean that a person is stressed or angry and that he don’t want to show that to everybody.


Legs wide apart or Sitting straddle-legged: Shows that a person is feeling safe, and is self – confident. Can also show leadership.


A big smile that goes on longer and disappears slower.: Unreal or fake smile


Crossed legs with highest foot in the direction of the speaker.: Relaxed and self-confident and they are listening very carefully.


Rapidly nodding your head : Shows impatient and eager to add something to the conversation


Slowly nodding: Shows interest and that they are validating the comments of the interviewer, and this subtly encourages him to continue.


Dangling the loose shoe from the toes : Signals physical attraction


Rubbing your collar: Nerves


Adjusting your tie: Insecurity


Pressed Lips: Pressed lips convey disagreement and disapproval. It communicates a desire to end the discussion. A raised chin implies aggression that may be acted on if the conversation is not ended.


Pursed Lips: This is also a sign of disapproval. It indicates that the person has fixed views that cannot be changed. This usually reveals an arrogant and superficial character.


Biting the Lips: The person expresses embarrassment when he bites his lips. He also communicates a lack of self-confidence.


Reading Hand Signals: People have been granted with two hands: the left and the right hand. The left has been dubbed as the “emotional hand” since an imaginary line can be drawn from the third finger leading directly to the heart. This is why the wedding ring is placed on this finger. The right hand, literally on the other hand. has been named the “proper hand” since it is with this hand that people communicate a blocking or stopping signal.


Open Hands: Open hands may be demonstrated by showing the palm of one’s hand, especially in a conversation or an argument.. This expresses a trust in other and an interest in their opinions. It also offers an opinion and invites the sharing of the other person’s view.


Covered Hands: This is expressed by raising the back of one or both hands against others. This indicates the setting up of barriers or the keeping of distance. It is an act of concealing feelings and covering insecurity


Clinging Hands: Those who cling to objects, such as handbags. files or tables. show a need for support. This action conveys confusion or insecurity. It expresses fear and difficulty in coping with the current situation.


Twisted Hands ( crossing both hands then clasping the palms together) : Expression of a complex personality. It may indicate a difficult emotional life. The way the palms are held together conveys a need to hide something.


Clasping the hands : indicates defence.


Shrugged shoulders: You can recognize stressed shoulders by the fact that they are a bit shrugged, which does make the head look smaller. The meaning of the signal comes from crouching in dangerous situations.


The meaning of this posing depends on the combination. In combination with big eyes it means that someone is concerned about something that is going to happen. In combination with a face that is turned away it means that the person wants to be left alone. An introvert person has nearly always those stressed shoulders.


Difference in level of both shoulders: By most of the people the left and the right shoulder are of the same height. When they are not, it often means that someone is doubting about what he is going to do. With this movement we simulate (unconscious) that we are weighing the possibilities. Sometimes when someone makes this movement, his head will move a little like he is looking above.


Crossed arms: There are a lot of different explanations of the meaning of crossed arms. When someone has crossed arms and he is shaking his head it means that he does not agree with you. But he can also cross his arms when he is frightened, then his arms give him some protection. Another option is that he is feeling cold and he is trying to hold his body-warmth with him. When someone is sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, it indicates that the person is relaxed.


Making a fist from your hands: A fist is a sign for aggression. It comes from hitting someone. But it is seldom used with a threatening meaning. Most of the time it is used to indicate that you are angry or irritated.


Holding the hand before the mouth: Holding a hand before your mouth means that you are hiding something. In western countries it is impolite to belch or to hiccup. So someone can hold his hand before his mouth to hide that he is hiccupping. When someone puts his hand before his mouth when he is talking it indicates that he is saying something or has said something that he did not want to say.


Making the eyes look larger: The meaning of making the eyes look larger can be that someone is astonished. In that case he opens his mouth a little. It can also mean that he is happy or that he likes the thing that is talked about. And because it means that you like something, you can use it on purpose. It pleases people when you have your eyes opened a bit further.


When people open their eyes a bit further it can also mean that they are unhappily surprised. Then they will frown their eyebrows.


Raising the eyebrows: Raising the eyebrows shortly means that people are surprised. They raise their eyebrows to allow them to look better. But it can also mean that somebody is looking at you, and that he likes you.


Raised forehead: A raised forehead often means that someone is remembering something he has seen. This often happens very quickly. It can also be a sign of a certain emotion. It is a biological reflex that you raise your forehead a little when you are crying so the tears can move easier.


Pursed lips: When somebody purses his lips it means that he has to make a decision and is thinking about that. Sometimes he also moves his lips, like he is saying the possibilities. When somebody purses his lips, he often looks a bit upward.


Firm Handshake: The strong, firm handshake usually is given by a person who is sure and confident of themselves.


Weak hand shake: People who give these types of handshakes are either nervous, shy, insecure, or afraid of interaction with other people.


Cleared your throat: Nervousness.


Bitten your fingernails: Nervousness.


Wring your hands: Nervousness.


Paced the floor: Nervousness.


A person is bouncing their legs and their arms are crossed over or their torso is slumped: Closed off


Source






The post A Body Language Primer appeared first on Robert JR Graham.


Tuesday, 26 August 2014

The Added Advantage: Body Language

by: Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach


Have you ever walked by someone’s office (or even in the grocery store) and noticed them just standing there smiling? They are practicing the ‘added advantage’ of body language to not only project a better image in the world, but to feel better and relieve stress for themselves.


Body language 101 is ‘sit up, look the other person in the eye, and smile’. We all learned it as children, and fine tune it to meet prospective employers, or prospective spouses and friends.


But let’s look at the added advantage of using these body language basics to help you feel happier and less stressed throughout your week:


(1) Sit up: The best way to exercise control over your present body language is to get up and walk around a bit. This is actually a bit of a cheat, because what getting up and moving around does is make you take a deeper breath. During stress, we have a habit of beginning to take shallow breaths, and that deprives our bodies of the oxygen it needs, and makes the brain muscles constrict and work harder.


When you consciously sit up – or better– stand up, moving your body around helps the blood to flow again. It gives your legs and backside a rest, as well as decompresses your lungs to help give the oxygen to your brain and body. It will return the color to your face, and help ease the strain on your shoulders.


(2) Look the person in the eye: Normally, you will find that you’re overwhelmed and stressed because you’re either spending too much mind-time in the past (“I haven’t done that yet”), or too much time in the future (“I’ll never get this finished on time”). And all that’s good for is a slumping posture and a scowl on your face.


Instead, use this advantage of body language to pull yourself back to the present moment. When yo


u feel yourself getting uptight and miserable, just for a minute, wiggle your toes, look at the color of your shoes, take a whiff of the air (coffee?), listen to the sounds around you. It’s looking yourself in the eye. Getting present with yourself. When you get yourself back to the present, then you can consciously and purposefully “choose your attitude”.


(3) Smile: Help along your body language by thinking of something that makes you smile. Remember the 70’s pop-psychology idea of going to your “happy place”? Have that happy place in reserve, or think about a funny thing you or a friend did, or even a funny scene from a movie. Smile in your mind, or if appropriate, on the outside as well.


Body language has always been used to send a signal to other people, but now you can use your body language to send a signal to your own brain, and take advantage of feeling better any time of the day.


Source






The post The Added Advantage: Body Language appeared first on Robert JR Graham.


Monday, 4 August 2014

Friends And Influence

How To Make Many Friends Easily

by: Ivan Campuzano


How to make many friends easily..


With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.


Becoming Likable:


Setting the Stage


Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.


In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what approach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.


Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.


Body Language


Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?….you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this – if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.


Questions and Listening


Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.


Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends


Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”


This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.


Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.


People who talk too much


1. People always talk about them behind their backs


2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.


3. Usually have very big egos


4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too


5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.


People Who Listen Effectively


1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.


2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.


3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”


Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.


Things to avoid when Listening


Don’t Interrupt


Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.


Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences


Don’t Offer Advice too Soon


Compliments + Appreciation


The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.


Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.


Encouragement


Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.


Plan and Organize Social Events


One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .


I hope all these pointers will help everyone become more influential, take care and much success to everyone!


http://ift.tt/Oa7uyw






The post Friends And Influence appeared first on Robert JR Graham.