ROBERT J.R. GRAHAM: Anne Warfield

Showing posts with label Anne Warfield. Show all posts

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Networking Through Personality Partnering

Effective Networking: Personality Partnering

by: Anne Warfield

Networking is no longer the “good ol’ boys” club nor is it appropriate to pass your business card out to everyone you meet. Networking is a much more savvy market today. Networking is not something you do; it is an art you perfect. True networking will increase your business and give you a solid base for years to come. So how do you network in the 00′s?

To be effective in today’s business you need to network by “personality partnering”. Remember you are not trying to only reach the person you are speaking to, you want to have access to all the people they have an influence over. Let your networking be defined by your personality and life style, not by your work.

CAPTURE YOUR AUDIENCE’S INTEREST

Remember , you need to create a desire to hear more from you. Your first line of introduction should tell people the benefit of working with you, not how you do what you do. Karen Peterson has been with Hanson’s Goodies & Gifts, an 80 year old company, since she closed her own bakery in the spring of 1994. Prior to that Karen was a customer of Hanson’s for 4 years. When I first met Karen her introduction was, “My name is Karen Peterson and I’m with Hanson’s Goodies & Gifts. We make gift baskets filled with candy, nuts and goodies for every occasion.” She found her response from people was only mediocre at best. Today Karen says her benefit statement of, “I can help provide you with the perfect gift at the perfect time for any occasion without you ever having to leave the office.” Having a benefit statement gives her confidence because it always rolls right off her tongue and it peaks interest. Matter-of-fact, after saying her benefit statement at a recent women’s network meeting, Karen had two people come up to her to set appointments to purchase product!

FINDING YOUR PERSONALITY PARTNER

Russian media personality Irena Ponaroshku. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do not network for people whose companies might be good prospects for you. Instead try to find people in the room that have similar interests to you. Similar interests include hobbies, vacations, parenting, experiences, and travel to name a few. For years the “good ol’ boys” network survived because they were often built on a similar interest outside of work. They were built on golf courses, basketball courts, churches and workout rooms. Business happened as an afterthought. Do not begin by talking about work.

ATTEND GREAT EVENTS

Churches, community events, ski clubs, golf courses, workout centers, and Chambers of commerce are some of the best places to meet people that have a similar personality and interests to yours. In Karen’s situation church, chamber events and community events would be great places to “personality partner.” These events would allow her to meet others, be involved and display her gift baskets as centerpieces for different events.

USE UNCONVENTIONAL QUESTIONS

Your goal is to find out if your personality relates well to the person you are talking with. In order to find this out, ask questions such as, “What is your favorite hobby?”, “Where was your best vacation and why?,” or “If you could relive one part of your life without changing it, what time would you relive and why?” These are great icebreakers when you are seated at a table with 7 other strangers. For Karen, a great icebreaker is to ask people what big events they have upcoming in their lives. This allows her to tell them about a basket that would fit the occasion.

MATCH UP OTHERS

Diana Hoffman of Investor Mortgage spends much of her business time managing a women’s breakfast networking group. She invites people she feels will match in personality and then starts each meeting with an unconventional networking question. She finds people open up to each other, and naturally refer business.

LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

Being a good “personality partnering” networker is similar to being a good neighbor. You do things for others because you genuinely like them and see this as a long-term partnership, not a short-term business venture. You will find the more you give, the more referrals people will send your way. They might not be able to do buinsess with you themselves, but they like you so they will want to help you. Think of how many things you buy or do because a friend has recommended them to you.

SOLVE OR ENHANCE IT

Focus on helping them solve a problem they face or present new information in an area they are interested in, and people will remember you. They will appreciate your effort and try to pass business you way. Karen helps people focus on upcoming anniversaries, birthdays and other important events in their lives. She is then able to solve their problem by presenting a choice of baskets that can be mailed or delivered for those occasions. People feel grateful they are able to be thoughtful about sending a gift while still meeting all of their work deadlines.

When you go to your next networking event, use it as an opportunity to find others who think, feel and act similar to you. Begin with your personality and lifestyle in mind and let work be an afterthought. The more you practice this, the more the other person will be asking for your card without you even suggesting business and you will make business partners as well as friends.

Source

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Friday, 5 September 2014

Three Beliefs That Hinder Conflict Resolution

Three Beliefs That Block Your Effectiveness With Conflict

by: Anne Warfield

We act as though conflict is a bad thing. We are taught that we must resolve all conflict. The goal that is implied is peace- no disruptions.

I disagree. I think conflict is good, even necessary if you are to be innovative and creative. To be innovative and creative means you have to question all that is and try to create what doesn’t exist. In and of itself, this means you will disrupt the lives of people that like to have things stay consistent without much change.

So, if you don’t have any conflict, then most likely your team is filled with yes people and you are stretching your imaginations to the limit. Now having said that I want to make sure we all have the same definition of conflict.

Conflict, to me is about duality. It is about the differences between things that give us new insights and possibilities. I believe conflict should be a building block, not a stumbling block.

The majority of people handle conflict poorly. This stems from three fundamental beliefs that block you in handling conflict.

1. In conflict you must get the person to see and , best case scenario, agree with your side in order to resolve the conflict.

2. You must get the person to understand where they are wrong and you are right.

3. All conflict needs to be resolved so we are at peace as a team.

Taking these one at a time I will show you how this belief freezes your mind and blocks you from dealing effectively with conflict.

Belief #1: You need to get the person to see and agree with your side in order to resolve the conflict.

Why? It causes you to do things that derail the conflict.

1. This approach causes your brain to immediately move to making a laundry list of all the reasons they should agree with you. It is a faulty premise and leads your brain to defense thinking.

2. As you list all your reasons their brain moves immediately to defending their side and finding the holes in your argument.

3. They may never be able to see or understand your side because they have not experienced it. They say the Indians couldn’t see the Mayflower as it approached because their brain couldn’t even conceive of a ship that big. Therefore, the Pilgrims were able to land without the Indians being any the wiser. Trying to argue your side when someone can’t even see it is likely trying to share the Mayflower when a person can’t see it. Save your breath.

4. As you try to get them to see your side, all of your energy and focus is on YOU, not them. Not a good way to magnetically get them to connect with you.

In order to shatter this belief you have to see conflict not as opposing but as enlightening. It is a way to expand your thinking, not contract it. It is a way for both you and another party to create and build what was not there before.

Belief #2: You must get the person to understand where they are wrong and you are right.

When you believe you need to get the person to see where you are right and they are wrong you are making two critical assumptions that shut down your ability to listen.

They are:

1. You are assuming there is a right or a wrong. This means you will only listen for data and facts that fit what you see as right or wrong. Much of the valid data you need for critical thinking will be lost for you as your brain won’t even be able to “hear” or “see” it.

2. You are better or have better information than the other person, and therefore you have the right perspective. Think back to the Allegory of the Cave by Plato. The person looking at the shadows saw the “truth” of the shadows on the wall. The person looking at the wall couldn’t even begin to “hear” about what was casting the shadow because to them, the shadow was the truth. Which person are you- the person seeing the shadow or the person seeing the real object?

You want to be able to take in as much information as possible so you can see the possibilities in the conflict rather than the improbabilities.

In order to shatter this belief you have to get rid of the belief that there is a right or wrong AND that you need the other person to validate your position.

Instead of focusing on the “but or however” start focusing on the “And”.

Belief #3: All Conflict Needs to Be Resolved

World Peace . It is the number one answer beauty contestants give when asked what they want in the world.

In corporations you hear people saying they want peace in the office. For most people that means, no conflict. So we all play to get rid of conflict or to resolve it so all people are happy.

The third belief that is a fallacy in conflict is that you need to have all conflict resolved.

Not all conflict is resolvable nor should it be. Having differences is healthy. In order to be creative you often need to be pushed so hard that what you did before no longer is acceptable to do.

I believe our economy is actually helping businesses reinvent and become better simply because what worked in the past no longer does work.

Have you ever wondered why your “divorced” friends look the best they ever have? Why suddenly do they lose the weight, join a gym, and buy new clothes? As they shed their old life, they shed the old way of doing things and start a new path.

So conflict doesn’t need to be resolved. It does need to be handled. It does need to be addressed. And, yes, at times it needs someone to just say, “this is how it will be.”

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