Showing posts with label Addiction. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Letting Go of Addiction

Letting Go Of Addictive Problems

It’s always a mystery how personal change takes place. One thing I’ve learned as a therapist is that for many people stop a habit when they realize that they can only keep going down. They may have gotten lots of lectures from family members, tried rehabs and gone to meeting already. But, it’s often a new level of motivation that helps someone to turn the corner and stop. An addiction to drugs or alcohol can be stopped.

A number of my clients mentioned that is was due to hearing someone’s personal account that a new intent arose inside. One of my clients who was 17 years old and already experimenting with a number of drugs felt his inner change happened when an ex-addict gave a talk at his high school. The former addict showed pictures of his face and body deteriorating over the years. He also spoke about his loss of family and support from friends due to his destructive habits. My client saw that he was going down the same path and made a resolution to change that night.

Another client of mine was inspired by watching a TV documentary of someone who used to use cocaine to enhance her real estate business. My client was doing a similar thing for her own career as a financial manager. Hearing how someone so similar to her had been slowly ruining her life gave my client a lot of insight.

Try to read some memoirs of people who have already been through your path. Use the power of your mind to project where you will be in one year, five years and ten years from now if you continue along this path. Think about what happened to Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.

Make a list of what is most important to you. You probably have people that you deeply care about, even if right now they are not in contact with you. Do you want to lose them forever? Think about your own potential. What were your dreams when you were sixteen years old? That person still is inside of you and can emerge again with some love, nurturance and self-care. Feed your deepest dreams again.

Don’t let past disappointments ruin your life. Remember that many people start over and get past obstacles. If your addiction began due to family problems, relationship issues or financial difficulties, remember that this was the past. Your life can start now.

Learn more about the way five ex-addicts were able to overcome their pasts and read their Addiction Recovery Interviews.

Starving the Flesh

Prescription Drug Addiction Should Not Be a Silent Battle

Delray Recovery Center Releases A Guide to the Addiction Treatment Process

Most Important Changes to Make in Early Addiction Recovery

Cliffside Malibu: Sharing the Secrets to Real Addiction Treatment

Addiction Recovery Community

The First Interview – Addictions Counseling

Can you become addicted to sound? (serious question)

Study: Porn Addiction on the Rise, As Technology Increases Access

Addictions – What is Addiction?

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The post Letting Go of Addiction appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Narcissism, Substance Abuse, and Reckless Behaviours

by: Sam Vaknin

Pathological narcissism is an addiction to Narcissistic Supply, the narcissist‘s drug of choice. It is, therefore, not surprising that other addictive and reckless behaviours – workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling, compulsory shopping, or reckless driving – piggyback on this primary dependence.

The narcissist – like other types of addicts – derives pleasure from these exploits. But they also sustain and enhance his grandiose fantasies as “unique”, “superior”, “entitled”, and “chosen”. They place him above the laws and pressures of the mundane and away from the humiliating and sobering demands of reality. They render him the centre of attention – but also place him in “splendid isolation” from the madding and inferior crowd.

Such compulsory and wild pursuits provide a psychological exoskeleton. They are a substitute to quotidian existence. They afford the narcissist with an agenda, with timetables, goals, and faux achievements. The narcissist – the adrenaline junkie – feels that he is in control, alert, excited, and vital. He does not regard his condition as dependence. The narcissist firmly believes that he is in charge of his addiction, that he can quit at will and on short notice.

The narcissist denies his cravings for fear of “losing face” and subverting the flawless, perfect, immaculate, and omnipotent image he projects. When caught red handed, the narcissist underestimates, rationalises, or intellectualises his addictive and reckless behaviours – converting them into an integral part of his grandiose and fantastic False Self .

Thus, a drug abusing narcissist may claim to be conducting first hand research for the benefit of humanity – or that his substance abuse results in enhanced creativity and productivity. The dependence of some narcissists becomes a way of life: busy corporate executives, race car drivers, or professional gamblers come to mind.

The narcissist’s addictive behaviours take his mind off his inherent limitations, inevitable failures, painful and much-feared rejections, and the Grandiosity Gap – the abyss between the image he projects (the False Self) and the injurious truth. They relieve his anxiety and resolve the tension between his unrealistic expectations and inflated self-image – and his incommensurate achievements, position, status, recognition, intelligence, wealth, and physique.

Thus, there is no point in treating the dependence and recklessness of the narcissist without first treating the underlying personality disorder. The narcissist’s addictions serve deeply ingrained emotional needs. They intermesh seamlessly with the pathological structure of his disorganised personality, with his character faults, and primitive defence mechanisms.

Techniques such as “12 steps” may prove more efficacious in treating the narcissist’s grandiosity, rigidity, sense of entitlement, exploitativeness, and lack of empathy. This is because – as opposed to traditional treatment modalities – the emphasis is on tackling the narcissist’s psychological makeup, rather than on behaviour modification.

The narcissist’s overwhelming need to feel omnipotent and superior can be co-opted in the therapeutic process. Overcoming an addictive behaviour can be – truthfully – presented by the therapist as a rare and impressive feat, worthy of the narcissist’s unique mettle.

Narcissists fall for these transparent pitches surprisingly often. But this approach can backfire. Should the narcissist relapse – an almost certain occurrence – he will feel ashamed to admit his fallibility, need for emotional sustenance, and impotence. He is likely to avoid treatment altogether and convince himself that now, having succeeded once to get rid of his addiction, he is self-sufficient and omniscient.

First published in my

“Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

Topic Page on Suite 101

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