Are Your Strengths Under Control?

by: Brian Strachan

I first learned of this particular concept of strengths and excesses in the context of annual performance appraisals. Periodic performance feedback, coupled with an annual performance appraisal, is an integral part of a well-run business. Honest appraisals which inform the employee of his or her development needs are critical to helping the employee improve. They also help the business improve because its employees are improving their performance. It’s a “win-win” proposition.

Unfortunately, not all appraisals are honest. The one for the outstanding employee is easy to conduct and is a pleasure. The one for the marginal employee can be difficult because the discussion can become argumentative and contentious. I have seen too many managers avoid the tough performance appraisal by simply deeming an employee’s performance to be satisfactory and avoiding any discussion of development needs.

This is unacceptable because it is unfair to the marginal employee. Sooner or later the true assessment will come to light and it will be a shock to the employee. Perhaps it will come in the form of a layoff notice. Perhaps it will come with a new manager who believes in giving honest performance assessments. Whatever the form, the day will come and it won’t be pretty.

I never understood why many managers don’t give honest appraisals. Again, the employee deserves honest feedback. If a manager can’t conduct an honest discussion, he should not accept a position as a manager.

In one particular staff discussion this subject was being discussed. The general manager stated that he expected his managers to conduct honest performance appraisals with their people. He further stated that there is no need for the discussions with marginal employees to be contentious if the discussion is in terms of strengths and excesses.

The theory he was discussing is that no one inherently has any weaknesses. We develop weaknesses when we carry strengths to an excess.

Self-confidence is a trait we admire, we strive to have, and we count as a strength. If we carry the strength of self-confidence to an excess, it becomes arrogance, and a weakness.

Consider one’s ability to trust others. This is a strength and one which you need to develop as you need to delegate more to others. If you carry trust to an excess it becomes gullibility.

Being strong and forceful are strengths.

Carry them to an excess and you become a bully.

Being cautious is a strength. Carry it an excess and you become indecisive.

Being cooperative is a strength. Carry it to an excess and you become a pushover.

Taking risks is a strength and a necessary ingredient to being an entrepreneur. If you carry risk-taking to an excess you can become reckless.

Having ambition is a strength. In this case I’m thinking of the person with the desire and ambition to get ahead. You’ve recognized that in some people and you admire their drive. However, I have seen some people carry their ambition to an excess. They become obsessed with getting ahead and start doing some pretty dumb things which have hurt their chances. They carried their strength right into a weakness.

Again, this was presented in the context of having performance discussions with marginal people in a positive manner.

Like many of the lessons I’ve learned I have thought about them long after and have extrapolated them beyond their original context. In this case I have tried to self-assess my weaknesses to see if they are indeed strengths carried to an excess. Not surprisingly, the theory fits the case.

I feel one of my strengths is the capacity to speak out when I don’t agree with something being said. In other words, I am not a “yes-person.” I think of this as a strength which adds value to the organization.

In my later years I came to the realization that this strength was of value to me if I utilized it in moderation. If I carry my outspokenness to an excess I become argumentative. I have learned to speak out more sparingly and with more caution. I will speak out when I think something is wrong or if I think something can be done in a better way. However, I don’t play devil’s advocate as much as I used to and I’ve learned to pick my fights.

I think it is a very healthy exercise for everyone to periodically make a list of his or her strengths. You should know yourself pretty well and should be able to easily list your strengths. Which of your characteristics make you proud? What do you do well and which characteristics contribute to your doing that well?

Once you have your list spend some time thinking about what those characteristics would become if they were carried to an excess. Then ask yourself, “is there any characteristic on the list that I might be carrying to an excess? Are any of these strengths becoming weaknesses?” If there are, you need to consider what you are going to do about them.

From time to time you must ask yourself, “are my strengths under control?”

From the book “IT AIN’T OKAY TO FAIL”

By Brian Strachan

Visit http://ift.tt/1iXZoUk for more information about “IT AIN’T OKAY TO FAIL”

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• 5 Underrated Habits Of Great Leaders


• Why You Should Start Playing to Your Strengths


• Appraisals… What’s not to Like!


• 5 Ways To Upgrade Your Performance Reviews


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• How To Deal With Employees Greatest Weaknesses


• How To Let Down An Employee Who’s Not Ready For A Promotion


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The post Are Your Strengths Under Control? appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Shifting Perspectives

What You Focus Your Attention on Is What You Get!

by: Laura Howard

Cheryl Richardson, a favorite author and fellow coach, has written a new book called “Stand Up for Your Life“. In this book she talks about how our society tends to “bond over stress instead of success”. I see this in action every day in my own life and in the lives of my clients.

We tend to give each other permission to complain freely- it’s actually become the way we interact with others. It’s OK to compare stresses or say something negative to a total stranger for the sake of opening a conversation and relating to each other. For example, you get in the elevator on a rainy day, “Some storm! Traffic was terrible!”. We feel free to talk about what’s wrong with everything from traffic, weather, the kids, the husband/wife, work, the messy house to crowded/late flights.

So what’s wrong with this you might ask? Well, it creates constant whining and complaining if you’re not careful!! While each of these little snippets of conversation seem meaningless, when you look at an entire day it can really add up to a negative outlook on life. With this negative way of thinking it can be hard to believe in our dreams, be truly happy and feel gratitude for our life.

We tend to look for evidence of life being hard/bad/difficult so we can share it with someone or to prove our point. I know I’ve been a creator of my own “negative spiral”. I have gone through a day looking for evidence to support how tough my life is. I awaken with a sinus headache and immediately think it’s going to be a “bad day” and then I find all the proof I need…there’s traffic, I’m out of gas, I forgot the baby bottles, I’m late, etc… When we keep our focus on looking for this evidence it’s no surprise that we do in fact have a bad day.

What if you started a conversation with a success? Something like…”Hey, the greatest thing happened today…..I got a new client, how about those beautiful flowers out front, or I made the best dinner last night!” What if you started looking for evidence of “Having a Great Day”.

Recently Psychology Today reported how a positive attitude can help you live longer because you feel like you have more control over your life. Your energy will amp up because you are choosing to not focus on your life using the media mentality of “the sky is always falling”. And in the simplest of terms…the smile on your face is more likely to put a smile on someone else’s face!

When was the last time you actually encouraged someone to talk about what’s going well in their life? We naturally do this with our kids. We listen while they tell us how they made a slam dunk or read a new word. I often ask my son, Nicholas,” What’s the most awesome thing that happened to you today?” I get the best answers! It’s usually funny which makes me laugh and it definitely makes me feel like we shared something real about his day.

A friend of mine, Sherean, has that positive outlook on life and for the people who are in her life. She fully believes that I am creative, resourceful and fully capable of doing anything I want to do. She values my opinions, encourages my ideas, and I can talk about my success (yes, even brag – oh my!). She lets me “shine my light” when we’re together. Just planning a lunch with her gets me in such a good mood. My creative juices go into overdrive and my energy sparks just knowing that it’s such a supportive alliance. In fact, by letting me shine it gives her permission to do the same and the value is multiplied! It always results in an incredibly uplifting and motivating conversation that carries into the rest of our day.

We certainly need to have the support of close friends and family who we can let it all hang out with – it’s helpful to be able to ponder and process the difficulties in life and share solutions. But we can also choose our focus.

So where are you focusing your attention in your life? How does this support your vision for how you want your life to be?

LIFE SKILLS : 4 Ways to Increase Your Awareness and Change Your Attitude

1. For the rest of the day, notice how often you bond with others over complaining about something. Just by noticing you create an awareness of your behavior and that alone can lead to inspired change.

2. Play a game for one day and don’t say anything negative. No whining. No complaining. No bonding over stress. Notice how you feel in this situation. Some people find this really hard to do. There can be a bit of panic….now what do we talk about??

3. Next idea….Think of something positive to say AND say it! Say it to the cashier, to the drive through attendant when getting coffee, to the person in the elevator, to your boss, to your coworker at lunch, to your girlfriend…

4. Give someone else permission to shine. Ask them a questions like: What was the best part of your day? What energizes you? Tell me something good! So, what great thing did your son do today? Know that when you do, at the least, you’ll feel good and maybe, some of the light will rub off and you’ll find increased energy and inspiration – you’ll feel good!!

Source

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• Happiness


• The Ego and Free Will


• Are you a woman who’s living her life feeling worthless and invisible?


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• Perspective.


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The post Shifting Perspectives appeared first on Robert JR Graham.

Are Your Strengths Under Control?

by: Brian Strachan

I first learned of this particular concept of strengths and excesses in the context of annual performance appraisals. Periodic performance feedback, coupled with an annual performance appraisal, is an integral part of a well-run business. Honest appraisals which inform the employee of his or her development needs are critical to helping the employee improve. They also help the business improve because its employees are improving their performance. It’s a “win-win” proposition.

Unfortunately, not all appraisals are honest. The one for the outstanding employee is easy to conduct and is a pleasure. The one for the marginal employee can be difficult because the discussion can become argumentative and contentious. I have seen too many managers avoid the tough performance appraisal by simply deeming an employee’s performance to be satisfactory and avoiding any discussion of development needs.

This is unacceptable because it is unfair to the marginal employee. Sooner or later the true assessment will come to light and it will be a shock to the employee. Perhaps it will come in the form of a layoff notice. Perhaps it will come with a new manager who believes in giving honest performance assessments. Whatever the form, the day will come and it won’t be pretty.

I never understood why many managers don’t give honest appraisals. Again, the employee deserves honest feedback. If a manager can’t conduct an honest discussion, he should not accept a position as a manager.

In one particular staff discussion this subject was being discussed. The general manager stated that he expected his managers to conduct honest performance appraisals with their people. He further stated that there is no need for the discussions with marginal employees to be contentious if the discussion is in terms of strengths and excesses.

The theory he was discussing is that no one inherently has any weaknesses. We develop weaknesses when we carry strengths to an excess.

Self-confidence is a trait we admire, we strive to have, and we count as a strength. If we carry the strength of self-confidence to an excess, it becomes arrogance, and a weakness.

Consider one’s ability to trust others. This is a strength and one which you need to develop as you need to delegate more to others. If you carry trust to an excess it becomes gullibility.

Being strong and forceful are strengths.

Carry them to an excess and you become a bully.

Being cautious is a strength. Carry it an excess and you become indecisive.

Being cooperative is a strength. Carry it to an excess and you become a pushover.

Taking risks is a strength and a necessary ingredient to being an entrepreneur. If you carry risk-taking to an excess you can become reckless.

Having ambition is a strength. In this case I’m thinking of the person with the desire and ambition to get ahead. You’ve recognized that in some people and you admire their drive. However, I have seen some people carry their ambition to an excess. They become obsessed with getting ahead and start doing some pretty dumb things which have hurt their chances. They carried their strength right into a weakness.

Again, this was presented in the context of having performance discussions with marginal people in a positive manner.

Like many of the lessons I’ve learned I have thought about them long after and have extrapolated them beyond their original context. In this case I have tried to self-assess my weaknesses to see if they are indeed strengths carried to an excess. Not surprisingly, the theory fits the case.

I feel one of my strengths is the capacity to speak out when I don’t agree with something being said. In other words, I am not a “yes-person.” I think of this as a strength which adds value to the organization.

In my later years I came to the realization that this strength was of value to me if I utilized it in moderation. If I carry my outspokenness to an excess I become argumentative. I have learned to speak out more sparingly and with more caution. I will speak out when I think something is wrong or if I think something can be done in a better way. However, I don’t play devil’s advocate as much as I used to and I’ve learned to pick my fights.

I think it is a very healthy exercise for everyone to periodically make a list of his or her strengths. You should know yourself pretty well and should be able to easily list your strengths. Which of your characteristics make you proud? What do you do well and which characteristics contribute to your doing that well?

Once you have your list spend some time thinking about what those characteristics would become if they were carried to an excess. Then ask yourself, “is there any characteristic on the list that I might be carrying to an excess? Are any of these strengths becoming weaknesses?” If there are, you need to consider what you are going to do about them.

From time to time you must ask yourself, “are my strengths under control?”

From the book “IT AIN’T OKAY TO FAIL”

By Brian Strachan

Visit http://ift.tt/1iXZoUk for more information about “IT AIN’T OKAY TO FAIL”

Related articles

• 5 Underrated Habits Of Great Leaders


• Why You Should Start Playing to Your Strengths


• Appraisals… What’s not to Like!


• 5 Ways To Upgrade Your Performance Reviews


• 7 Leadership Strengths Are Weaknesses When Taken Too Far


• How To Deal With Employees Greatest Weaknesses


• How To Let Down An Employee Who’s Not Ready For A Promotion


• Why performance reviews are important for your career growth


• Strength In Our Weakness


• How to Let Down an Employee Who Isn’t Ready for a Promotion

Shifting Perspectives

What You Focus Your Attention on Is What You Get!

by: Laura Howard

Cheryl Richardson, a favorite author and fellow coach, has written a new book called “Stand Up for Your Life“. In this book she talks about how our society tends to “bond over stress instead of success”. I see this in action every day in my own life and in the lives of my clients.

We tend to give each other permission to complain freely- it’s actually become the way we interact with others. It’s OK to compare stresses or say something negative to a total stranger for the sake of opening a conversation and relating to each other. For example, you get in the elevator on a rainy day, “Some storm! Traffic was terrible!”. We feel free to talk about what’s wrong with everything from traffic, weather, the kids, the husband/wife, work, the messy house to crowded/late flights.

So what’s wrong with this you might ask? Well, it creates constant whining and complaining if you’re not careful!! While each of these little snippets of conversation seem meaningless, when you look at an entire day it can really add up to a negative outlook on life. With this negative way of thinking it can be hard to believe in our dreams, be truly happy and feel gratitude for our life.

We tend to look for evidence of life being hard/bad/difficult so we can share it with someone or to prove our point. I know I’ve been a creator of my own “negative spiral”. I have gone through a day looking for evidence to support how tough my life is. I awaken with a sinus headache and immediately think it’s going to be a “bad day” and then I find all the proof I need…there’s traffic, I’m out of gas, I forgot the baby bottles, I’m late, etc… When we keep our focus on looking for this evidence it’s no surprise that we do in fact have a bad day.

What if you started a conversation with a success? Something like…”Hey, the greatest thing happened today…..I got a new client, how about those beautiful flowers out front, or I made the best dinner last night!” What if you started looking for evidence of “Having a Great Day”.

Recently Psychology Today reported how a positive attitude can help you live longer because you feel like you have more control over your life. Your energy will amp up because you are choosing to not focus on your life using the media mentality of “the sky is always falling”. And in the simplest of terms…the smile on your face is more likely to put a smile on someone else’s face!

When was the last time you actually encouraged someone to talk about what’s going well in their life? We naturally do this with our kids. We listen while they tell us how they made a slam dunk or read a new word. I often ask my son, Nicholas,” What’s the most awesome thing that happened to you today?” I get the best answers! It’s usually funny which makes me laugh and it definitely makes me feel like we shared something real about his day.

A friend of mine, Sherean, has that positive outlook on life and for the people who are in her life. She fully believes that I am creative, resourceful and fully capable of doing anything I want to do. She values my opinions, encourages my ideas, and I can talk about my success (yes, even brag – oh my!). She lets me “shine my light” when we’re together. Just planning a lunch with her gets me in such a good mood. My creative juices go into overdrive and my energy sparks just knowing that it’s such a supportive alliance. In fact, by letting me shine it gives her permission to do the same and the value is multiplied! It always results in an incredibly uplifting and motivating conversation that carries into the rest of our day.

We certainly need to have the support of close friends and family who we can let it all hang out with – it’s helpful to be able to ponder and process the difficulties in life and share solutions. But we can also choose our focus.

So where are you focusing your attention in your life? How does this support your vision for how you want your life to be?

LIFE SKILLS : 4 Ways to Increase Your Awareness and Change Your Attitude

1. For the rest of the day, notice how often you bond with others over complaining about something. Just by noticing you create an awareness of your behavior and that alone can lead to inspired change.

2. Play a game for one day and don’t say anything negative. No whining. No complaining. No bonding over stress. Notice how you feel in this situation. Some people find this really hard to do. There can be a bit of panic….now what do we talk about??

3. Next idea….Think of something positive to say AND say it! Say it to the cashier, to the drive through attendant when getting coffee, to the person in the elevator, to your boss, to your coworker at lunch, to your girlfriend…

4. Give someone else permission to shine. Ask them a questions like: What was the best part of your day? What energizes you? Tell me something good! So, what great thing did your son do today? Know that when you do, at the least, you’ll feel good and maybe, some of the light will rub off and you’ll find increased energy and inspiration – you’ll feel good!!

Source

Related articles

• Happiness


• The Ego and Free Will


• Are you a woman who’s living her life feeling worthless and invisible?


• Make 2013 Your Best Year Ever


• Guest Post: A Taste of Bliss


• Meditation for Forgiveness: Is It More Important to be Happy or Right?


• Perspective As A Gift


• Perspective.


• 21 Ways to Raise Your Vibration


• Viva Editions: Books for Inspired Living Polly Campbell’s Imperfect Spirituality is Hitting Bestseller Lists