Resolving Conflicts – 5 Key Essentials

By Steve Brunkhorst

Conflicts will arise in our personal lives and careers at some point in time. Conflicts may involve differing opinions, or they may involve a stronghold on matters of self-interest. In either situation, we can resolve these conflicts in ways that bring mutual respect and an enhanced sense of empowerment to our relationships.

Here are 5 key essentials to remember when resolving a conflict in either a personal or professional relationship.

1. Tell the truth about why you disagree.

If another’s opinion threatens you in a personal way, or someone has demanded that you take a side against someone else, then you have another matter to resolve before you will ever resolve the conflict. Similarly, you’ll want accurate information about the other person’s position. Let the other person or group know the truth about your position. This allows an honest assessment needed for both parties to reach agreement.

2. Seek common ground.

There is a lighthearted quote by Alison Boulter: “Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.” Although our talents and experiences differentiate us, all of us do have commonalities, ideas, and opinions upon which we can agree. I am not referring to the shallow adage, “We must agree to disagree sometimes.” When we seek and find true common ground, we look with sincerity and intention for peaceful solutions that will benefit both parties.

3. Work toward mutual benefits.

A common error in conflict resolution is to seek a win rather than the win-win outcome that Robert Alan described in today’s featured nugget. We cannot resolve conflicts with more conflict, seeking revenge or gains of power over others. How often have you seen that result in resentments and further damage to relationships? The ultimate goal in conflict resolution is not to “win” a conflict. The ultimate goal is to enhance personal and professional growth through problem solving.

4. Focus on issues rather than personalities.

We best resolve conflicts in a courteous manner: getting the facts, listening closely to the other’s opinions, asking for clarification, and communicating ideas clearly. Our focus remains on the issue at hand, not on the people involved. We must separate the issues from personalities to resolve conflicts effectively.

5. Watch for the benefits.

Could your conflict actually bring you benefits? Absolutely! If you resolve a conflict in a constructive manner, you might receive greater understanding of the working style of your group or another individual, greater knowledge of your values and the values of your partner, enhanced group dynamics and mutual respect between team or family members. As stated in essential number three, you can enhance personal and professional growth in this process.

Conflicts can allow human beings with dignity and worth to share the value of unique experiences. We can treat those with whom we disagree with respect and dignity while learning from their experiences. In this way, we will benefit from our differences as well as similarities. We will grow toward our capacity for living abundantly and peacefully, extending the full range of our gifts to others in the service of our Creator and our world.

© Copyright 2013 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life strategies coach, inspirational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular ezine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Find many resources for achievement by visiting http://ift.tt/1e0HdgP